Back to the Future: The Game (2010)

Genre: Graphic adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Telltale Games

If you're not already familiar with Telltale's brand of graphic adventure, I'll attempt to explain in one paragraph: TT are storytellers. The story is the main event. Because of that, calling it a game is being descriptively generous. The visuals are stuck in the PS2 era. The animations are clunky. The interface is as simplistic as they come, with the player required to interact with people or objects and walk from place to place to find them. Conversations have multiple possible responses, but quite often it doesn't matter which one you choose or in which order because the response will be the same. You don't buy a TT title just for gameplay - you buy it for story because TT know how to deliver in that dept.

It begins on May 14th 1986. Hill Valley. The events in the films are the past. Doc Brown is missing. Marty is with Biff and George, and he's worried. Things seem bad, but they're about to get a lot worse and it'll be your job as Marty to fix them.

The time-hopping shenanigans that follow reference the entire film trilogy but take cues mostly from the structure of Part II (1989). If you know and love the films then you'll spot a HUGE amount of additional detail. The people at TT must really be fans of the franchise. They captured the enduring spirit of the series perfectly.

Not all voices are provided by the original actors, but they sound like they are; the effort made to match them exactly really paid off, with the discernible nuances of each actor's dialogue being present and largely correct. Ironically, some of the original cast sound less like their 1986-selves than the replacements do!

The adventure is split into five episodes, each individually priced, but if you buy the Complete Pack digitally or the retail edition (on an actual disc) then you'll have them all. Play them in the correct order to properly finish the tale.

It gets more and more self-referential each time. Ep III is very talky but also funny, clever and with a high level of satire. The puzzle solving is fun but can quickly slip into being frustrating. Deductive reasoning alone isn't always enough to get you though, so be prepared for much trial and error and seeing multiple times animations that can't be skipped. Nevertheless, it's worth the inconvenience.

3 scientific predilections out of 5

Burnout CRASH! (2011)

Genre: Wreck Your Shit  |  Players: One  |  Developer: Criterion Games

CRASH! is a digital-only title available from PSN, XBL and the Apple store. It has none of the arcade racing elements traditionally associated with the Burnout series. Instead, it takes the Crash Mode, simplifies the visuals and gives it a top down perspective similar to early GTA games. Unlike GTA, however, the active playing area is very small. There’s a brief run-up to the crash zone, but 99.9% of the time you’ll be in a small, self-contained area with one or two intersections and some destructible buildings. Yes, they’re destructible, and in some levels you’re encouraged to do so if you want to hit the high scoring multipliers.

The main objective is to cause as much damage as possible in the allotted time, damage which is then converted into a cash value. Fulfil enough criteria for each level, which includes hitting set targets of cash, and you can move onto the next intersection to do the same thing all over again but with increased difficulty.

Meet specific targets and you can unlock new vehicles. More than just a cosmetic change, they add a further strategic element by having different ratios of Power (damage) to After-touch (ability to control direction of your own vehicle during the post-crash chaos). Some intersections can be beaten with any vehicle, but not all objectives are so easily obtainable - some will require a specific set of wheels.

Special events can be triggered that do massive amounts of damage to the environment, but you'll have to earn them first. They're usually worth the effort.

It’s an enjoyable waste of time that players can drop in and of quickly, but will likely only have lasting appeal to high score junkies who love to cause chaos on busy digital roads. I'm not one for setting and subsequently working my ass off to beat a personal best, so once I'd beaten it I was done with it. For £2.00 (in a PSN sale) it was worth it, though I'd not like to have paid much more than that.

2½ Spandau Ballets out of 5

Chrono Trigger (1995)

Genre: RPG  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Squaresoft

Chrono Trigger is arguably one of, if not the most, refined and polished RPGs ever released by Square Ltd. in the 16-bit era.  A game so perfect for its time that it gave the impression Final Fantasy VI was made years before, while in reality only a mere eleven months stand between both releases.

The game puts you in the shoes of Chrono, a young boy from the town of Truce, in the quiet kingdom of Gardia.  On the first day of the millennial fair that commemorates the thousand years of the kingdom he will encounter Marle and start a journey across time to save both the past and the future, making new friends on the way, among which are a frog-knight, a robot from a post-apocalyptic future, and others...

The technical aspect of the game is really great: the graphics make use of all the abilities of the SNES, giving us the abilities to explore a vast and colourful world, and the chara-designs by Toriyama Akira, full of mirth and winks to his career, are very well-rendered on screen.

The music (always one major cool point for Square's SNES games) is very impressive.  Yasunori Mitsuda and Nobuo Uematsu outdid themselves, as it may well be the best SNES soundtrack by Square's team.

Gameplay-wise, the game is excellent; putting you at the head of a team of three that you can select more or less freely, the difficulty is well-balanced, the combat system is an evolved version of the Active Time Battle system that allows for a bit more strategy in using zone attacks and offers the possibility of making collective attacks.  The gameplay also uses the time-travel aspect of the game, requiring you to sometimes perform an action in the past to unblock something in the future.

Finally, the story is exceptionally well-written, full of humour, and explores quite nicely the various aspects and implications of time travel, both good and bad, in a very intelligent and coherent manner.  It's also, at times, pretty emotional and will make you feel involved in the story and the characters' destiny, which is the mark of great RPGs.

If you have to have only ONE RPG on SNES, get this one.

If you liked it you might enjoy: Final Fantasy VI, Lufia II, Dragon Quest VI.

5 luminaire followed by Dark Matter out of 5.

Nutted by Docrate1.

Final Fantasy — 20th Anniversary Edition (2007)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Tose

The first game in this (what came to be) ironically titled series is without question the most basic console RPG experience I’ve ever encountered. Yes, I do believe Mystic Quest is more complex than this is, in any of its iterations. Explore, talk to townsfolk, buy items, exchange items, fight baddies, and grind. That’s it. It’s quaint, almost painfully so.

You’re free to make a party of four, from six classes (Warrior, Thief, Monk, White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage) and name them after you and your friends or other characters (oh hai Vivi~). The grinding could be considered severe depending on your history and personal tolerances, but it is structured to match the regimented story, at the very least. Gain ten levels to be comfortable in the introductory dungeon and ten more for each subsequent. Level 60 is where you’ll want to be for a winnable final encounter that will still elicit slight fears of failure.

In the original NES release, a pointedly dated/annoying mechanic was the system’s inability to automatically switch your aim to another enemy if the one you originally targeted was defeated by another party member. It’s been fixed in every other version, but it’s not a ‘smart’ system and you’ll still want to be careful about your assignments as you’ll often find your warrior suddenly attacking a smaller enemy that your mages could have taken out either alone, or in tandem, to save you a round of combat.

That’s another thinly veiled tip. Bring more than one mage if you aren’t doing a challenge run, of which there are MANY flavors. Of course, I have to admit that outside of those popular challenges and nostalgia for its own sake, there is NO reason to play this game, today. If you want to experience a standard, classic Final Fantasy, play IV or VI.

This version contains all of the bonus dungeons from the GBA version as well as an exclusive that utilizes a mechanic similar to VIII’s endgame. You’ll be repeatedly handicapping yourself in order to progress. For me, getting extra gear and fighting bosses from the later games is silly, but it’s extra content if you want it.

If you have a PSP and are absolutely sure you want to play it, this IS the version I recommend. All PSP owners need more games and it’s bright, crisp, colorful, and in widescreen here. Win.

Buyer’s Guide: Here we go. /takes deep breath: NES, MSX2 (what?), WonderSwan Color, Playstation (as part of FF Origins, in the west), GBA (as part of Dawn of Souls with II—fuck you II, die in a hole), iOS, PSP, Windows Phone, Android, Wii and Wii U Virtual Console, 3DS eshop, and the NES mini.

 

The Pixel Remasters look like ass trash, to me. I said it.

3 Parts of Neg Still Love To Name Nameless Characters out of 5

Mega Man (1987)

Genre: Platformer | Players: 1 | Developer: Capcom

What are we looking at up there? Bloody hell. Look to the Japanese box art if you want something accurate. Look somewhere else entirely if you want a cushy, enjoyable time with this series. That’s harsh, but it’s true. That isn’t to say that this isn’t worth playing. For a sense of history and perspective, I think anyone who has enjoyed a classic Mega Man game should give this a shot. It’s weird saying this seven nuts in, but this is a platforming series with a heavy emphasis on ranged combat, characterized by a multitude of projectile types derived from the powers of a set of enemy bosses. You can tackle their stages and steal these rock/paper/scissors-esque powers in any order you choose before heading to the final levels comprising Dr. Wily’s fortress.

Dr. Wily is a serial villain with a fetish for Guts Man (one of the bosses debuting here) and eyebrow wiggling. There’s no story beyond a modicum of rudimentary exposition, in the manual. Good. Mega Man isn’t War and Peace.

Why is this so ball-bustingly difficult? Well, movement is stiff and it randomly seems like there’s ice physics in play EVERYWHERE, not just Ice Man’s stage. There are no E-tanks. When you fight a boss, you’ve got one life bar and that’s assuming you show up with full health to begin with. There’s a swift, movement puzzle of a beast that most people can only take down using a glitch. Oh, and you have to re-fight the bosses. That’s not strange, though. That’s both a general Capcom and a Mega Man specific tradition. No, the rub is you have to fight four of them in a row with no health items immediately before the two-part battle with Wily.

Hey, guess what? Their projectiles don’t disappear and you can die because of this AFTER THEY’RE DEAD.

You can’t fudge this game with E-tanks and be awarded a victory and gooey feelings that’ll encourage you to get better, more elegant, over time. In this game, and the first sequel, you have to get better NOW. You stay in the trenches and do it OVER and OVER and OVER until you throw your controller just to pick it back up again, like a machine.

Play it. You don’t need to beat it, you don’t even have to enjoy it. Knowing the pain is something I think is beneficial, though. History and perspective.

Buyer’s Guide: NES game. Mega Man Anniversary and Legacy Collections (PS2, PS4, Xbox, Xbox One, GC, 3DS, Switch). Virtual Console. PSN. Cell phones. The usual.

2 Victories of My Own Choosing out of 5

Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright — Trials and Tribulations (2007)

Genre: Adventure, Visual Novel | Players: 1 | Developer: Capcom

Trials and Tribulations concludes the Phoenix Arc of the Ace Attorney series with aplomb and miles of grace to spare. In terms of gameplay, it is as similar to Justice For All as Silent Hill 2 is to Silent Hill 3. I.e., completely, functionally identical. It is worth noting that the introductory trial is actually part of the main storyline this time and the two stand-alone trials organically contain elements and themes present in that central narrative. They also house two of the most adorable and fulfilling one-off characters in the franchise. On top of all that, you actually get to play as two attorneys whose names aren’t Phoenix Wright, in three of the five(!) trials.

Because more of the Fey family’s story is presented in Justice than the first game, T&T works in a number of brief flashback-esque monologues about those events, throughout the proceedings. I have been told by a fellow Nut author—who has only played T&T—that this summarizing is effective and didn’t make him feel chided for not having experienced the other games. Good show.

Looking back on Justice For All from the finish line, this time, it’s clear that it derives its unique personality in the canon from a profound sense of tragedy. There’s nothing wrong with that. This game, however, is imbued with something outreaching of the humor to counterbalance the damage it wreaks upon its cast. There’s an almost shining aura of joy and life surrounding all involved, even the ancillary villain characters. For the central cast, redemption and release radiate beyond even the deepest shadows cast.

Trials and Tribulations simply feels like the most complete package of the trilogy in terms of presentation, content, and resolution. Like Final Fantasy VI, it exists in a space transcendent of its genre and overarching lineage of games. It is one of the most resoundingly successful, humanity-affirming pieces of fiction I have personally experienced and I unabashedly adore it.

2023 Update: Given that this franchise, or at least Phoenix's arc, exists to exalt tokusatsu, I can no longer recommend this game, or series.

Buyer's Guide: As usual, it was originally a Japanese GBA game that was ported to the DS, PC, and eventually the Wii (as WiiWare). It's also on iOS. There is a trilogy version available in the west as a download in the 3DS eShop. According to the AA wiki, there are some changes to the text, in addition to the fixes for the incredibly small number of typos that the series contains.

5 Refreshingly Bitter Blends out of 5

Bastion (2011)

Genre: Action Adventure | Players: 1 | Developer: Supergiant Games

The protagonist known only as "The Kid" wakes up in his bed to find an apocalyptic event called "The Calamity" has shattered the land and only random pieces of landmass float around as he makes his way to the titular Bastion; an emergency evacuation place for the city of Caelondia. Only one other person survived to make it to the Bastion; An old man known only as "the Stranger" who also provides the wonderful, low growl narration. The Bastion can be enhanced by finding Cores; huge crystals that used to power the city. The more cores that are found makes the Bastion larger and more functional. It also allows the Skyway that shoots him to remaining landmasses to send the Kid to farther landmasses. While exploring the wild, the Kid will fight various monsters with a variety of upgradeable weapons and search for cores and survivors while the Stranger narrates about the background of the places visited and sometimes snarks about what the Kid is doing (usually something the player did).

The Kid runs around in an isometric environment with the maps revealing themselves as the player explores in a beautifully rendered, highly colorized artstyle that somewhat contrasts with the downer scenario. The combat follows the old adage of "easy to pick up, difficult to master". It is fairly straightforward, but with nuance and the various weapon combinations add more as players progress. The Bastion can also be upgraded to add a forge for weapon upgrading, a distillery that allows for equip-able potions that offer a variety of passive buffs, and a shrine that adds more challenges when the various gods are invoked. The soundtrack is a wonderful new mix of old time western tunes with some more modern electronic and heavy bass. The controls were at first obtuse and janky on the PC since aiming with the mouse made a weird disconnect with attacks especially with melee weapons were The Kid would attack where the  cursor was instead of the direction he is facing which feels unnatural and is probably different with a joystick. Having gotten used to it though it still worked pretty good and eventually I couldn't put it down. With the great story, wonderful fresh genre soundtrack, and a fair amount of replayabilty with different weapons, modes and New Game Plus makes this one an easy recommendation.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on Steam, Xbox Live Arcade, iOS, OnLive and as a browser game for Google Chrome.

4½ Level-starting Faceplants out of 5

Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright — Justice For All (2007)

Genre: Adventure, Visual Novel | Players: 1 | Developer: Capcom

As with most sequels, Justice for All throws a few new gameplay mechanics into the mix. The majority increase ease of use and make things more interesting. The rest fail to detract in any overly significant way.

This time around you can present character profiles as well as evidence, making some exchanges simpler to navigate without obtuse reasoning. This plays greatly into the biggest addition: the challenge of undoing individuals’ Psyche-Locks. People have reasons to hide things from you and you’re tasked with finding the keys in the form of evidence and character relationships. The strike system has also been replaced with a health bar that can be depleted in varying amounts depending on the importance of the action in question. This gets replenished between trials and when you successfully remove Psyche-Locks.

Of final note on the gameplay side is the fact that the game has become a bit more strict when it comes to cross-examinations. Sometimes you’ll have to press statements in a certain order, or even re-press earlier ones, just to move forward. YOU might jump a few steps ahead logically, but some trains of thought must be established step-by-step in court. I’ve heard this be described as game breaking, but frankly, if this momentary stymieing ruins a game for you, then you probably don’t have the patience necessary to enjoy this genre.

From a story standpoint, this entry officially walks through the door of allowing mystical happenings to stand in a court of law. I don't mind it, but I can understand (and respect) why some people do not care for it.

As for Phoenix himself, he delivers some killer lines that speak beautifully to his growing confidence. The humor is ramped-up and serves to further endear the already established characters. To balance this, the drama has been turned up to eleven in the cases directly comprising the main storyline.

Finally, as someone who has become a fan of tokusatsu since the last time I played this series, I can now fully appreciate how much of a deep-seated effect it has on Maya’s resiliency and strength as a person. I always loved how she was able to snare so many of those around her into its web, but now I understand WHY.

If you’re willing to walk the path now laid out for the series by the Fey family, then there’s little chance you’ll find disappointment here.

2023 Update: Given that this franchise, or at least Phoenix's arc, exists to exalt tokusatsu, I can no longer recommend this game, or series.

Buyer’s Guide: Like the first game, it was originally a Japanese GBA game that was ported to the DS. It’s also available on PC, on the Wii (as WiiWare), and cell phones. There is a trilogy version available in the west as a download in the 3DS eShop. According to the AA wiki, there are some changes to the text, in addition to the fixes for the incredibly small number of typos that the series contains.

4 Saddest Text Screens In The History of Gaming out of 5

Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright (2005)

Genre: Adventure, Visual Novel | Players: 1 | Developer: Capcom

If stepping into the shoes of a defense attorney doesn’t sound entirely appealing to you, you aren’t alone. I wasn’t enamored with the idea at first, either. The large cast of quirky, slightly over-the-top, but infinitely endearing characters will see you through this trepidation, but they will not make you enjoy wading through seas of text any more than you already do. An appreciation of old-school point-and-click adventures and visual novels is indeed the most important prerequisite to enjoying this series.

To that end, and this game’s credit, a number of improvements have been implemented that greatly decrease the probability of experiencing DEAD STOPs. Gameplay is divided into two discrete modes: investigation and trial proceedings. On trial days, you will cross-examine witnesses and attempt to expose the real criminals (usually murderers) by pointing out contradictions using evidence you gather while investigating. To relieve the strain on the legal system, trials in this world have been capped at three days. To relieve the strain on your sanity, investigation segments will not end until you’ve found everything the script deems necessary. If you present incorrect evidence, or choose a wrong dialogue option, you are given a strike. Five strikes and you’re out. However, you can save at any time and scum like a boss.

This is not a particularly damning game.

As mentioned, while the characters can be cartoony at times, they are obscenely memorable and painfully relatable. Few things in this world (not just games) have as much heart as the Ace Attorney series. This derives significantly from the cast, which tent-poles a plot that ultimately and masterfully pulls the strings tight on what can initially seem like unconnected trials and events. Don’t get me wrong, the sleuthing and intuiting gameplay is well-executed and leads to some jaw-dropping moments, but it is not the keystone of the series. This is why adventure game fans should give it a shot, even if they don’t have any great interest in the legal system.

This was originally on the GBA in Japan, if you’re so inclined and linguistically equipped. The DS version contains an extra trial that utilizes the system's touch-screen functionality for forensic investigation activities. These are associated with the alternate companion character, Ema Skye. She is awesome. In case 1-5, as that trial is referred to, that is. She also appears in Apollo Justice's game, but her attitude is quite different, and she is no longer the heart of the story, as she is, here—the same as Maya is for the trilogy, as a whole.

This first game has also appeared on PC, Wii (as WiiWare), iOS, and mobile phones (partially). There is a trilogy version available in the West, as a download in the 3DS eShop. According to the AA wiki, there are some changes to the text, in addition to the fixes for the incredibly small number of typos that the series contains. Recently, it was ported to the Switch, PS4, and Xbox One.

Case 1-5 can peculiarly be purchased individually as WiiWare. Perhaps because it was not originally part of the game, and its canon-icity was debatable until it was decided that Ema would be part of Apollo's outing. Personally, I've come down on the opposite side of that debate. Like Reika, in Go-Busters, Ema is a briefly tenured wonder who literally steals the show, the one time that she wrests command of the ship.

 

2023 Update: Given that this franchise, or at least Phoenix's arc, exists to exalt tokusatsu, I can no longer recommend this game, or series.

4½ Well-Deserved Burgers out of 5

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within (2004)

Genre: Platformer, Action | Players: 1 | Developer: Ubisoft

The 2nd game in the Sands of Time trilogy eschews the lighthearted aesthetic of the first game in favor of grimy, dark subject matter. It reeks of some marketing douche forcing in titties and blood because he thinks it will sell better. Really blatant too given the 2 bitches skintastic outfits which is confusing since it is made to appeal to preteen boys while upping the rating to Mature .

Along with the new art direction is improved combat, but improved does not mean good. There are more attack options, but only about 3 are needed as the same moves always work against certain enemies while others never work. The targeting is also made worse from the 1st game as it must be forced to attack the enemy you want. Left to its own devices, it is not uncommon for it to pick the furthest enemy from you instead of the one on his back in front of you awaiting the finishing blow. Mercifully not all battles must be fought and you need only do so when you need more sand or it is needed for progression. There is weapon degradation too where one long combo can destroy your secondary weapon, but as every enemy has a new one it is just a minor annoyance. A bigger annoyance is the ninja bitches that hop around endlessly while repeating the same overtly sado-masochistic one-liners at the Prince. Fuck those cunts. Also the Ravages of Time ability wasn't nearly as stylish as the Mega Freeze from the 1st game.

The platforming sections are as great as they should be, thank Cthulu, with a few new additions that don't break the flow and some nice environments in which to perform the Prince parkour. The wall runs, jumps, swings and now riding tapestries are as fun as ever hampered only slightly by some minor bugs. More than once I found myself stuck in a falling animation while on the ground, music that started up late and stretches where audio cut out entirely which wasn't too bad as the music sucks anyway. Add in some backtracking that can be confusing and a worthless map and it's a wonder the game is as playable as it is.

Buyer's Guide:
Can be found on the cheap for numerous platforms including an HD remastered version on PSN and a PSP port with new content.

2 The platforming saved it from a one out of 5

Lumines Plus (2007)

Genre: Strategy / Puzzle | Players: 1 - 2 | Developer: Q Entertainment

Lumines was praised as being one of the best titles available for Sony’s stillborn handheld, the PSP. I found the PS2 version recently for £1 / $1.58 in the pre-owned section, so I grabbed it. It’s another Tetris style falling blocks game. The blocks are always 2x2 and are always of two different colours. You have to match up the colours, making a similar 2x2 square so they’ll disappear. Simple. Except, they don’t disappear instantly, they hang around for a time like meth junkies in the park. In theory that means you can add to the disappearing blocks with the next available falling block, increasing the size and score. In practice it means despite clearing part of your screen it’s still feckin there, so it screws up where you can set your next block. It’s a hateful idea. Someone needs killed for it.

The game was designed by Tetsuya Mizuguchi, creator of REZ (2001) and uses a similar kind of music integration. The music isn't just background, it becomes a part of the gameplay. The tempo changes depending on how hectic or relaxed the action gets. That’s fine and dandy, but the music– oh God! The music is abominable. I wanted to stick something in my ears so I wouldn't hear it, anything would have been better, cotton, a kitten, a pencil, a dildo, broken glass. In the end I had to mute the game just to play BECAUSE YOU CAN’T TURN THE DAMN MUSIC OFF OR DOWN!

It’s fixed in a pre-set order that loops indefinitely so you hear the same tune every time you start a new game, over and over and over. You have to reach a certain score to unlock new tunes. Whoever composed it, next time you shave try standing an inch closer to the blade. Please and thanks.

I'm in the minority here (that's okay, the air is cleaner away from the stench of fitting in, plus when we play minority strip poker I always win) because I have almost nothing but scorn for Lumines. It’s my second falling blocks game in a month, the other was Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo (1996). Play it instead, not this festering turd.

Buyers Guide:
Don't, but if you hate yourself that much it's available on PSP, Mobile phone, PC, PS2, Xbox Live Arcade, PSN, iOS, PS Vita.

0 give me a shotgun and some cotton out of 5

Resident Evil 4 (2005)

Genre: Survival Horror, 3rd Person Shooter | Players: 1 | Developer: Capcom

The reinvention of a classic series that redefined the genres of both horror and action.
Gameplay:
Players control Leon Kennedy from a new over-the-shoulder perspective as he battles new horrific monstrosities with knives, guns and explosives. Aiming is possible with laser sights attached to each weapon. This new system allows for accurate fire which is good since enemies now have limb specific damage, allowing new tactics like shooting feet to stumble enemies or shooting arms to make them drop their weapons. Weapons can be purchased and upgraded to increase stats like reload speed and firepower. Items now are properly sized in Leon's attache case so an herb no longer uses the same amount of inventory as a gun. Also the presence of Ashley turns large portions of the game into escort missions, but not the frustratingly lame ones of years past. Capcom deserves a medal for making that possible.
Controls:
The new control scheme makes the old tank-like controls of past entries fluid and dynamic, but still makes the game challenging while keeping the feel of the old games.
Sound:
The voice acting is excellent albeit with some unintentionally cheesy lines which isn’t exactly new to the series (master of lock picking). The soundtrack also enhances the atmosphere as well as little details like enemy chants and chatter that can really add to the creep factor.
Story:
Leon is sent to rescue Ashley, the President’s daughter, from a rural farming village which may be hiding even greater secrets.
Buyer’s Guide:
Available on numerous platforms and multiple editions. There is the GameCube original, then PS2, PC, and Wii ports with extra bonus content and then there are retooled versions of the game available on iOS for iPhone, iPad and various mobile phones. Newly remastered HD versions are also available for download on the PlayStation Network and Xbox Live. Physical copies are available on PS4 and Xbox One.
Regular versions can be found as cheap as $10 while mint collector’s editions will easily run you more than $100. The PSN and Live versions can be had for $20 and 1600 Microsoft points respectively.

5 chainsaw decapitations out of 5

Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions (2007)

Genre: Turn-based strategy | Players: 1-2 Vs. or Co-op | Developer: Square Enix

Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions brings the Playstation classic to the PSP with new characters, job classes, cut scenes, a new translation and multiplayer.

Gameplay:
Battles unfold on isometric battlefields where characters take turns maneuvering and attacking with a variety of weapons, spells, animals and job classes; all with different strengths and weaknesses. Players must also be aware of terrain, height and enemy placement to complete their objective. Battles can be very complex and satisfying for strategy and RPG enthusiasts. New additions now include wireless multiplayer where players can fight versus or co-op to complete missions and earn new weapons and items.

Graphics:
The new FMV cutscenes are beautifully done in a cel-shading art style and the original aesthetic is enhanced by the new widescreen aspect ratio. Unfortunately, almost every action in battle is met with annoying slowdown.

Sound:
The soundtrack is one of Square Enix’s best and the voice acting for FMV’s is excellent. Sound effects in battle are affected by the slowdown, often finishing long before their respective action.

Story:
The end of a 50 year war has left rampant crime and poverty. The king dies and a regent is needed for his infant son to rule. Two candidates emerge; One with the banner of a black lion who is supported by the nobility and the other with the banner of a white lion supported by the poor and disenfranchised. This kicks off the titular conflict wherein you play as idealist knight-in-training Ramza as he and his associates are swept up in these events.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on PSP, Playstation Network and iOS. The iOS version omits the multiplayer. The original PS1 version can be found used as well.

4 entitled assholes out of 5