Final Fantasy VIII (1999)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Squaresoft

VIII went out of its way to create a very unique and strange system, but it ironically ended up producing a very one-dimensional experience, even compared to bog-standard RPG systems. Basically, you equip stocks of spells as armor and stat-boosts. Of course, this drops your inclination to use magic to absolute 0. Well, close enough. You’ll usually end up collecting two full batches of the various Cure spells, so you can actually use them, as intended, but that’s it. Outside of that, when you cast magic, you’re decreasing your stats! Why would you ever want to do that?

There are two ways to get magic, but all that changes between those methods is HOW you’re going to be significantly waylaid. You can ‘Draw’ magic from enemies, resulting in a duplication of leveling. You’ll be leveling yourself and grinding for spells whenever you come across an enemy with something new. Ideally, you don’t want to level, because enemies’ levels increase right alongside yours. But, you need AP to teach your summons new abilities, especially if you’re using the second method. Ergo, you ARE going to level to a normal degree, unless you specifically modify EVERY non-boss enemy into its playing card, from the game’s preeminent mini-game, Triple Triad. That only increases the time necessary to complete the game a MILLION fold. You ARE going to level. It is…inevitable...

The second method involves modifying Triple Triad cards and item drops into collections of spells. Again, that only means that you’re going to spend aeons playing cards, or getting drops, instead of Drawing spells. There is no escaping the eternity of VIII, unless you’re a speedrunner, but their fate is still mostly the same.

VIII commits a fundamental sin. I consider a fundamental sin to be an act that goes against something so BASIC to the structure or purpose of something, that it should have never had to be spoken of, in the first place. The joy of grinding in jrpgs is based on the very simple concept of reinforcement. The more you level, the stronger you become, and USUALLY the more money you acquire. The stronger you are, the faster battles end. This creates a very nice curve, and cycle, of reinforcement.

VIII says, ‘NO.’ An early boss battle sums the problem up, perfectly:

'Oh, no! HELP ME!'

'Yo, I got you, girl...just wait for about 30 minutes while I Draw these 3 new spells from this thing and its minions. Don’t worry, I’ll get around to defeating them, eventually.'

You get stuck in singular battles for extended periods of time, Drawing spells. The joy of getting into and ending battles swiftly is largely denied. It doesn’t help that the battle animations feel like they’re in slow-motion, and there’s a healthy delay to getting into battles AND starting card games. Again, there is no escape.

What inevitably happens (if you don’t quit immediately) is that you put up with this and equip the spells and summons as best you can, in three sets, that you can switch between characters. This is largely a farce, though, since you’re just going to attack Squall until he’s in critical HP, and then have him spam his Renzokuken Limit Break endlessly, since it hits a large amount of times.

If only there was a game that allowed you to hit multiple times, without having to be on the verge of death. Oh yeah, Final Fantasy I… It’s utterly incomprehensible that VIII chose to make class-specific skills into Limits. Why isn’t the Blue Mage casting Blue Magic? Why isn’t the Monk doing his special attacks, at will? Why isn’t the gunman using special ammo? Why is the Beastmaster not using her beast? The ways to prevent players from spamming these skills are MP pools, fighting game inputs, and ammo supplies. They had all of this down pat two games prior! But, here, they all have to be nearly dead to use their special skills. What? Why?!?!

I’ll address Triple Triad, here, because I want to end with some discourse on the story and characters. When I think of VIII, I'm always struck by how I remember the events of it, but virtually nothing of the characters. They are character sketches, at best. Ideas jotted on a napkin, by a writer, that were never brought to life, never developed. It's exactly the same in Uchu Sentai Kyuranger. At the end of the series, because there have been no personal interactions between them, no bonding, no hanging out, the Senshi are STILL just character sketches. 50 hours, or 50 episodes, and there's nothing to show for any of these characters beyond: "This is the brooding lead." "This is the sickeningly cute girl." "This is the chef.” Many members of the party in Xenogears only have their introductory story event to their names. This is honestly much more than most of the party in VIII can claim. They’re almost like Transformers: they’re definitely personalities, but not really characters.

Part of the issue is that Squall is given carte blanche to turn them off like light-switches. Quistis TRIES to be a character, but Squall flatly says, ‘NO. Not on my watch.’ No one should ever be given this manner of power.

When it comes to the story…I still don’t entirely understand it. I’ve definitely heard some theories about it, but none of them have helped me. The resolution to this amorphous issue is honestly awe-inspiring, in the worst possible way. You are going to be presented with the most bald reasoning I have ever witnessed. It’s like an animatronic that has been stripped of not only its skin, but also all of the plastic shielding holding its wire guts to shape.

You can’t do that. You have to come up with some explanation, guys. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it has to EXIST. I’m talking Care Bears, here, guys. Care Bears. Oh, and technically the game's biggest surprises are spoiled by the computer you can access at the very beginning of the game. But, who reads things? Oh wait, people who play RPGs... 😡

There was a time when I actually strolled into a forum and claimed that this was my favorite game. Do you know why? Because it helped me waste time. It gave me something to do, while I was coming to grips with something I had lost. First came VIII, then came XII. I needed time and distractions. If that’s all you need, have at it. It’s great for wasting your time, but little else.

A dumpster fire, from stem to stern. I don’t understand how things like this and Kyuranger make it out of development, in such a state.

 

I'll stick with Dirge, tyvm~

Buying Guide: Originally a PSX release. Also, PC. It's been remastered, so it's on PS4, Switch, and Xbox One. I've seen some screenshots. They definitely half-assed it. I'm honestly not surprised. Wait, didn't they lose the source code, or something? Some things are lost for a reason, mir?

0 Dreamy Cowboys For Selphie To Bang, Even If She Wrote This Fanfiction out of 5

Final Fantasy XII (2006)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Square Enix

XII will always have a place in my memories for being the thing that led me to the circle of friends I’ve cherished for, what will soon be, the past decade. As a game, however, it is a monumental failure. There's very little in the way of things to grab someone both at the outset and in the long run. You're presented with sweeping fields of people as faceless crowds and then faceless combatants. The combat and many of the environments are competently rendered but are boring and un-engaging. Also, what manner of sadistic developer sets the X-Axis to be inverted and doesn't allow it to be changed?!?! You’re provided with a rudimentary programming language by which to indirectly command your party members and while you’ll be quick to tell me that this isn’t dissimilar to XIII, I will tell you right now that you CANNOT make XIII play itself the way you can with XII.

Further, the characters in XIII are engrossing and they do what they do out of love, which is individualistic and easy to get behind, unlike the political drone of XII’s plot. Sazh and Vanille serve as an everyman and obligatory cute girl, sure, but as the game progresses they are given compelling and critical story relevance unlike the whingy Vaan and non-existent Penelo. Because of the structure of XIII and its post-game content, you cannot faff around long enough to lose the thread of the plot. You can work on XII’s side-content, which adds virtually nothing to the story, for literal days on end, losing it entirely for insanely massive periods of time. It’s all tick-the-box fare and hunts that don’t have the emotional pull of XIII’s, which demonstrate how the fate of a L’Cie destroys all manner of human relationships. XII also sets up requirements you’re sure to fail at, nearly instantly, damning you to a second playthrough, endless resets, or direct RNG manipulation. None of which are fair to players and simply force your hand in buying a guide or gluing your eyes to GameFAQs. The things you can reattempt, like spawning rare game and chaining enemies for drops, are usually incredibly esoteric and convoluted, especially as those two are not always mutually exclusive.

It feels like they designed a single-player MMO and that’s simply a contradiction of terms. This sort of content needs to be made bearable by the banter of your friends and done over the course of years, for hours at a time, when you’re all available. There really is something genuinely pathological to me about tackling the depth of it alone, in isolation.

For me, XII fails in every way that XIII succeeds. The characters and political nonsense are (almost entirely) flat and uninteresting. The side-quests outweigh the main story by many magnitudes. There’s no legitimate emotional resonance in it for me, or between most of the characters. A slight hint at something in the ending cinematic is far from enough. There's virtually no humanity on display, whatsoever. The focus of this entry is one that does not gel with me, even though I did put in multiple hundreds of hours, during a different era of my life. The only purpose it ever served was to kill time, which has not been enough for me, for quite a while now. Perhaps it was the beginnings of me expecting more, out of gaming, out of fiction, and out of life.

1 Stirring Statement in the Entire Bloody Thing out of 5

Final Fantasy — 20th Anniversary Edition (2007)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Tose

The first game in this (what came to be) ironically titled series is without question the most basic console RPG experience I’ve ever encountered. Yes, I do believe Mystic Quest is more complex than this is, in any of its iterations. Explore, talk to townsfolk, buy items, exchange items, fight baddies, and grind. That’s it. It’s quaint, almost painfully so.

You’re free to make a party of four, from six classes (Warrior, Thief, Monk, White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage) and name them after you and your friends or other characters (oh hai Vivi~). The grinding could be considered severe depending on your history and personal tolerances, but it is structured to match the regimented story, at the very least. Gain ten levels to be comfortable in the introductory dungeon and ten more for each subsequent. Level 60 is where you’ll want to be for a winnable final encounter that will still elicit slight fears of failure.

In the original NES release, a pointedly dated/annoying mechanic was the system’s inability to automatically switch your aim to another enemy if the one you originally targeted was defeated by another party member. It’s been fixed in every other version, but it’s not a ‘smart’ system and you’ll still want to be careful about your assignments as you’ll often find your warrior suddenly attacking a smaller enemy that your mages could have taken out either alone, or in tandem, to save you a round of combat.

That’s another thinly veiled tip. Bring more than one mage if you aren’t doing a challenge run, of which there are MANY flavors. Of course, I have to admit that outside of those popular challenges and nostalgia for its own sake, there is NO reason to play this game, today. If you want to experience a standard, classic Final Fantasy, play IV or VI.

This version contains all of the bonus dungeons from the GBA version as well as an exclusive that utilizes a mechanic similar to VIII’s endgame. You’ll be repeatedly handicapping yourself in order to progress. For me, getting extra gear and fighting bosses from the later games is silly, but it’s extra content if you want it.

If you have a PSP and are absolutely sure you want to play it, this IS the version I recommend. All PSP owners need more games and it’s bright, crisp, colorful, and in widescreen here. Win.

Buyer’s Guide: Here we go. /takes deep breath: NES, MSX2 (what?), WonderSwan Color, Playstation (as part of FF Origins, in the west), GBA (as part of Dawn of Souls with II—fuck you II, die in a hole), iOS, PSP, Windows Phone, Android, Wii and Wii U Virtual Console, 3DS eshop, and the NES mini.

 

The Pixel Remasters look like ass trash, to me. I said it.

3 Parts of Neg Still Love To Name Nameless Characters out of 5

Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy (2012)

Genre: Rhythm / Music | Players: 1-2 | 

Developer: Square Enix 1st Production Dept. / indieszero

Theatrhythm plays similarly to Elite Beat Agents and other stylus-controlled rhythm games on the DS. However, the notes appear on the top screen while you react on the bottom. This is strange, but serviceable. Gameplay is divided into 4 styles, across 3 modes. In all of these you tap notes, hold notes, and slide the stylus in various directions.

The Series mode has song sets for each of the games, I through XIII. The opening and ending songs are simply bonus stages where you tap the screen as notes pass over a crystal. Relevant dialogue from the games scrolls on top. This is entirely inappropriate as each song deserved to be fully playable. The other three songs in each set are a Field theme, an Event theme, and a Battle theme. Notes in Field themes move across the screen horizontally over animated backgrounds of game locations. Event theme notes dance around the screen in patterns, while gameplay footage plays behind it. Finally, Battle theme notes come across in four rows simultaneously.

It should be noted that you aren’t playing the full songs and this is jarring and inexcusable for Event themes, especially those with lyrics.

The Challenge mode allows you to play songs on higher difficulties. The Chaos Shrine mode is mostly where you amass items and the crystals needed to unlock characters. Speaking of characters, it’s worth noting that each game’s lead (as [sometimes incorrectly] designated by Squeenix) is available from the start so you can construct a party of four. At least one additional character from each game is unlockable.

Here’s the rub: unlocking them takes a decent amount of effort and they start at LEVEL 1. It was bullshit in Tactics and it’s bullshit here. I wanted two additional characters. I threw the first into my party as I started to work on getting the second and it ruined me. So, I would have been stuck with the party I leveled (to 50, mind you) until Snow arrived. Then what? I’d be burnt out and have no desire to play casually using those characters, negating the point of busting my ass entirely.

There’s a multiplayer function to the Chaos Shrine, but there was no reason for me to check it out. If you really like Elite Beat Agents and the lead Final Fantasy characters, give it a shot. USED.

Buyer’s Guide: Available on 3DS and iOS. There’s an expanded version coming soon, but it adds music from XIII-3 and XIV. Who needs that? I don’t. There’s a decent list of downloadable songs on the e-shop, too.

2 Shafted Pasty Dudes out of 5

I do not have binocular fusion and are thus incapable of experiencing 3D. 

Don't ask me how it looks here, or in any other 3DS game.

Final Fantasy IX (2000)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: SquareSoft

The ninth installment of Square's flagship series is a return to its roots, ditching the cyberpunk and sci-fi trappings of VII and VIII and returning to a more classical medieval fantasy setting with a generally more lighthearted tone in both plot and character design. The main protagonist Zidane is a thief whose group of thieves/theater actors has been hired to kidnap Princess Garnet of the Alexandria kingdom. He is surprised when she actually wants to be kidnapped, but Queen Brahne of course isn't happy about it. After their airship crashes during the escape an adventure begins at first to get Garnet to safety and then to explore the reasons for the Queen's increasingly aggressive actions that threaten to plunge the whole of the known world into war.

The return to roots in setting is also in the gameplay mechanics such as the return to a 4 member party limit and exclusive classes between characters as well as numerous callbacks and references to the series as a whole. The leveling and abilities have been simplified and the whole game is much more accessible and user-friendly, making this a good entry point for new players. Though the game feels much shorter than other installments and it actually is since it is possible to complete the game in less than 20 hours which is a fraction of most JRPGs. One sidequest even requires a time limit to the endgame of 12 hours. Of course how much the player chooses to indulge in the leveling, minigames and sidequests will affect how much time and joy they get out of the gameplay which is good for experienced players.

The aesthetics are very well-designed with the bright and slighty cartoony backgrounds as well as the more stylized and deformed characters ranging from standard humans to anthropomorphized hippos and anteaters. This is only hampered by the limits of the console it was designed for as the PlayStation was on its last legs at the time of this release. The pixels on top of polygons effect that was used does squeeze more detail out of the hardware, but adds to it sometimes grainy and muddled visuals. Whatever that lacks in visuals though is made up in story and characters. The 8 main characters are all likeable and relatable with each trying to overcome their own problems ranging from existential crisis, the nature of duty and honor, love and loss and loneliness, etc.  The adventure is not only a quest for a goal, but also a personal growth journey for each of them. My personal favorite of the series as well as that of the series' creator as it represents everything that the series was envisioned to be.

Buyer's Guide:
Can be found for the original PlayStation in both the original and Greatest Hits releases and as a PSone Classic on PlayStation Network.

4½ Surprisingly no palette swaps of enemies out of 5

Final Fantasy VI / III (1994)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Squaresoft
Credit to Dr Faustus, fellow Nut author, for this wonderfully altered artwork.

I don’t believe it’s entirely possible for someone to be unbiased when talking about their favorite game. That’s sort of the consequence of playing it countless times over the course of 19 years.

In essence, this is an ensemble cast game done right. There are 14 main playable characters in addition to the handful who’ll join your party temporarily. As daunting as that may seem, from a narrative perspective, the story does rest on set pieces crucial to the lives of the most central personalities. Still, even the most peripheral have heartbreaking and poignant experiences. Hell, there’s even a very plausible storyline hinted at for one of the optional members!

This small army is put up against one of the most demented and successful villains in the history of fiction. To save the world, they will have to be ground a fair deal. Here, the name of the game is magic. Its resurrection in a time of high technology is the impetus for the conflict at hand and you would do well to teach most of the spells to at least 6 or 7 characters to compensate for the multiple party mechanic utilized throughout the game. There is hope for speedy completion in the form of the Vanish glitch. But, it has been patched in almost every subsequent port of the game. Boo.

The music is stirring and highly memorable and the graphics stand as some of the greatest sprite work ever produced. While there are MANY highlights, the brightest is still capable of bringing grown men to tears, to this day.

More than a SNES turn-based RPG, more than just a Final Fantasy, VI is a masterpiece that should be at least tried by all.

Buyer’s Guide: In the end, the original SNES and VC releases are the way to go. The PS1 port should be avoided at all costs because of the lag to opening the menu. That version on PSN? Exactly the same. It appears to be a straight disc rip. The GameBoy Advance overhaul has a completely retranslated script, additional Espers, and extra dungeons. I imagine this will be fine for anyone who won’t get mental hiccups from the changes. The SNES Mini has the Woolsey translation and I'd wager it's the ROM from the VC.

 

The Pixel Remasters look like ass trash. They are a smidge better than the abominations they cooked up for mobile phones. JEEBUS H. FISTO. Sprites forever!

5 Promises to Find One Another out of 5
A review of Peter Olafson's Players Guide can be found here.

Dirge of Cerberus (2006)

Genre: 3rd-Person Shooter, Action, RPG | Players: 1

Developer: Square Enix Product Development Division 1

...you can sleep in a coffin, but the past ain't through with you...

This is a steaming pile of shit in the most vital way: the gameplay. Movement is stiff, you can only jump off ledges when the designers want you to, and most heinous of all, you’re going to be told you suck on your first playthrough. This was actually intended to be played over and over. Hence, your likely only pass is going to be riddled with disappointment, ad nauseum presses of R1, and most of the bad-assery being left to fight-ending cinematics. Not that I really mind that SO much, considering QTEs are nowhere to be found. Silver linings can be absolutely microscopic, sometimes.

The enemy team Squeenix cooked up has a purpose, in the long run, but are ultimately there to provide Vinny with boss fights other than military hardware. Even still, he’s got a huge beef with helicopters if this game is any indication. The main conflict works within the world’s mythos, at least. We could probably debate whether that’s good or bad.

As I drove on, I again found myself getting caught up in it; It’s a numb feeling akin to being stuck on the side of a Katamari ball, I suppose. Near the end, Vincent seems to realize he’s in a video game and most people are going to find the culmination to ring a bit sour because of it. There really isn’t that much revealed in terms of his character’s arc. It is nice to see stuff from VII play out in 3D cutscenes, though. Yuffie is presented well and her interactions with Vincent are very pleasant, if predictable. Reeve, however, shines by far the brightest before the game finally realizes who’s on the box cover.

If you like Vincent and have a high tolerance for shit, this will likely be the guiltiest of pleasures. If he didn’t spark your interest with his appearance in the main game, avoid at all costs.

I feel like I should start shopping at Hot Topic for liking this at all.

Buyer's Guide: PS2 exclusive. Wiki says it's on PSN. They lie, thankfully. It did somehow receive a Greatest Hits release, and it's probably the only one that has ever actually worked, aesthetically. I.e., I'm glad I sold my original and ended up with the re-release on my shelf. There was a tie-in on mobile phones, once upon a time, but I'm sure it's lost to the digital aether, now.

Now that I've reviewed VIII, it's especially pertinent to note that Quistis and Selphie's character models get re-used, here, as....ZOMG, actual CHARACTERS 😄

1½ 'I had enough things to be guilty about, as it was' out of 5

Final Fantasy VII (1997)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Square Product Development Division 1

At last, we have come to this. This isn’t the greatest game ever made. This isn’t a 5. It isn’t even a 4. Come at me.

Surprisingly, there was a period of my life where I forsook this game. This was much at odds to how I felt about it upon its release. You can be critical about anything you please as ‘free-thinking’ human beings, but I don’t feel bringing the full-force of your logic to bear on a series called Final FANTASY is the best use of your time. Weird shit happens in these games. Shit that sometimes doesn’t make a lick of sense. That’s okay, because whether or not you enjoy something ultimately comes down to how it makes you feel. The allusions to Norse mythology and modern philosophy are peachy-fucking-keen, though, don’t get me wrong. For a title focusing on protecting ‘the planet,’ this doesn’t even feel particularly influenced by hippie propaganda.

This game gives me a huge nostalgia boner, I’m not going to lie. The gameplay is polished (if overly, OVERLY simple) even if the spelling is not. Expect a large handful of typos in the PSX release. VII is the stock-standard prototype for menu-based, multi-disc Japanese rpgs with big hair, big swords, and big optional bosses. In some ways it even outshines the other FF games of that console generation. Someone please tell me why IX looks like kitty litter—especially after VIII. I think it holds up well enough, but then again I've been playing it off and on since release. *shrug*

There are problems, however, no doubt. I, literally seconds ago, learned something from a FAQ about the plot that I have been oblivious to for 16 years. Why have I never learned this from the game itself? Still, the problems with it are not nearly as jarring as some would have you believe. If you enjoy jrpgs and somehow haven’t played this, fix it. You don’t have to become a blind, raving fanboy (calamity from the internets, mir?) and you don’t have to revile it in some holier-than-thou manner, either.

You can like it for what it is (or not), and ignore the drama and bullshit.

It’s not worth the hype, or inflated black-label prices, but it is worth the price PSN is charging.

Buyer’s Guide: It’s an original playstation game, but unless you want to pay out the nose get it from the PSN and enjoy it on your PS3 or PSP. Patching the PC version is increasingly a nightmare, or so I hear.

3 ‘I fucking know which way the cannon is, guys’ out of 5

Final Fantasy XIII-2 (2012)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Square-Enix

Somehow, Squeenix managed to screw up every single facet of XIII-2. Instead of bringing back the stellar cast of the original, it was decided that monsters would fill the third slot in your party. The system is similar to Lufia II’s, in that you give your monsters items as opposed to leveling them in a traditional manner. It’s a serviceable enough system, but why should we be denied the cast when they are all actually in the game?

In terms of gameplay improvements, you are now allowed to save paradigm decks (a feature sorely lacking from the original) in A GAME WITH NO CHARACTER SWITCHING.

Roles are now leveled from 1 to 99 and the majority of the skills are given to you near the beginning of each skill track. There doesn’t feel like there is much progression from around lvl 40 to the high 80s and 90s, in the main quest.

Further, the roles are denied crucial skills such as Haste (which is dependent on getting pre-emptive strikes) and the En-spells. Synergists and Saboteurs are not necessary for the majority of the main quest but are crucial to the final battles. This leaves one scratching their head as to why you’re able to complete the game almost exclusively using the Cerberus paradigm—a very erroneous criticism leveled at the original game.

In the main quest, you only visit a handful of areas (repeatedly). Besides Academia (the new Zozo) they are relatively small and lackluster. Questing within them is banal and insultingly bad, to boot, as quest items are just found in chests.

The characters from the original make cameos, as noted, but the plot of this game makes an intelligent character seem like a dolt constructing a Rube Goldberg-esque solution to what should ultimately be a non-problem.

Most egregiously, the story somehow simultaneously rehashes part of the original’s plot while managing to also completely invalidate its entire point. It’s a slap in the face to fans of the original and while it may not be the worst game I’ve played on a technical level, it is the worst in as much as it ruins characters I am invested in on an emotional level.

Oh, and you’re going to have to buy the real ending as dlc.

Buyer’s Guide:
Sadly, this is currently widely available for both the PS3 and the Xbox 360.

0 Nu-metal Chocobo Themes Should Have Ever Existed out of 5

Nutted by NEG

Final Fantasy XIII (2010)

Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Square-Enix

The thirteenth entry in the ubiquitous series is hands-down the most divisive. Unquestionably the Xenosaga fan’s Final Fantasy, XIII buoys its story on the back of an insane amount of cutscenes. For the majority of the game, movement is contained in gloriously rendered, yet painfully linear areas, between said cutscenes. In the beginning, emphasis is heavily placed on moving the story forward and teaching you the intricacies of the highly kinetic battle system. The story does take a long time to get moving, and the potential of the battle system cannot be witnessed until late in the game when you finally get access to the entire party and everyone can start learning all 6 roles, as opposed to their native 3.

If you have a great deal of patience and can appreciate that the confusion inherent to much of the story is intentional—in service of the overarching metaphor—then you should be able to enjoy yourself until the game opens up in the eleventh chapter (of, you guessed it, thirteen). At this time, you can take advantage of a good percentage of the optional hunts presented to you, if you prepare accordingly. The more challenging hunts can only be taken on successfully after a final set of upgrades is presented post-game. XIII rewards fans of its battle system both before and after the credits roll.

One should be aware that the story begins in media res and characters do not always relay all important information outloud. It pays off greatly to read the voluminous datalog that is provided, as well as the vignettes presented with each hunt, which provide further insight into the denizens of the game.

Focusing on what happens when you are suddenly and violently excluded from society, your home, family, and friends and enslaved by a fate you seem completely unable to change, XIII embodies a premise that transcends its literal presentation and has the potential to speak to so many players.

With one of the smallest and most well-realized casts in the series’ history, XIII delivers a simplified jrpg experience for those willing to take the time to appreciate it. If you want high degrees of freedom, go play the Fallout or Elder Scrolls series. This game should not be criticized for what it isn’t (and people in the West have become accustomed to), but celebrated for what it is.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on the PS3 and Xbox 360. It’s unfairly cheap, these days.

5 Unclear Focuses out of 5
If you want to hear me praise it even more, check out my review of XII.

Nutted by NEG

Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions (2007)

Genre: Turn-based strategy | Players: 1-2 Vs. or Co-op | Developer: Square Enix

Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions brings the Playstation classic to the PSP with new characters, job classes, cut scenes, a new translation and multiplayer.

Gameplay:
Battles unfold on isometric battlefields where characters take turns maneuvering and attacking with a variety of weapons, spells, animals and job classes; all with different strengths and weaknesses. Players must also be aware of terrain, height and enemy placement to complete their objective. Battles can be very complex and satisfying for strategy and RPG enthusiasts. New additions now include wireless multiplayer where players can fight versus or co-op to complete missions and earn new weapons and items.

Graphics:
The new FMV cutscenes are beautifully done in a cel-shading art style and the original aesthetic is enhanced by the new widescreen aspect ratio. Unfortunately, almost every action in battle is met with annoying slowdown.

Sound:
The soundtrack is one of Square Enix’s best and the voice acting for FMV’s is excellent. Sound effects in battle are affected by the slowdown, often finishing long before their respective action.

Story:
The end of a 50 year war has left rampant crime and poverty. The king dies and a regent is needed for his infant son to rule. Two candidates emerge; One with the banner of a black lion who is supported by the nobility and the other with the banner of a white lion supported by the poor and disenfranchised. This kicks off the titular conflict wherein you play as idealist knight-in-training Ramza as he and his associates are swept up in these events.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on PSP, Playstation Network and iOS. The iOS version omits the multiplayer. The original PS1 version can be found used as well.

4 entitled assholes out of 5