Genre: RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Squaresoft
VIII went out of its way to create a very unique and strange system, but it ironically ended up producing a very one-dimensional experience, even compared to bog-standard RPG systems. Basically, you equip stocks of spells as armor and stat-boosts. Of course, this drops your inclination to use magic to absolute 0. Well, close enough. You’ll usually end up collecting two full batches of the various Cure spells, so you can actually use them, as intended, but that’s it. Outside of that, when you cast magic, you’re decreasing your stats! Why would you ever want to do that?
There are two ways to get magic, but all that changes between those methods is HOW you’re going to be significantly waylaid. You can ‘Draw’ magic from enemies, resulting in a duplication of leveling. You’ll be leveling yourself and grinding for spells whenever you come across an enemy with something new. Ideally, you don’t want to level, because enemies’ levels increase right alongside yours. But, you need AP to teach your summons new abilities, especially if you’re using the second method. Ergo, you ARE going to level to a normal degree, unless you specifically modify EVERY non-boss enemy into its playing card, from the game’s preeminent mini-game, Triple Triad. That only increases the time necessary to complete the game a MILLION fold. You ARE going to level. It is…inevitable...
The second method involves modifying Triple Triad cards and item drops into collections of spells. Again, that only means that you’re going to spend aeons playing cards, or getting drops, instead of Drawing spells. There is no escaping the eternity of VIII, unless you’re a speedrunner, but their fate is still mostly the same.
VIII commits a fundamental sin. I consider a fundamental sin to be an act that goes against something so BASIC to the structure or purpose of something, that it should have never had to be spoken of, in the first place. The joy of grinding in jrpgs is based on the very simple concept of reinforcement. The more you level, the stronger you become, and USUALLY the more money you acquire. The stronger you are, the faster battles end. This creates a very nice curve, and cycle, of reinforcement.
VIII says, ‘NO.’ An early boss battle sums the problem up, perfectly:
'Oh, no! HELP ME!'
'Yo, I got you, girl...just wait for about 30 minutes while I Draw these 3 new spells from this thing and its minions. Don’t worry, I’ll get around to defeating them, eventually.'
You get stuck in singular battles for extended periods of time, Drawing spells. The joy of getting into and ending battles swiftly is largely denied. It doesn’t help that the battle animations feel like they’re in slow-motion, and there’s a healthy delay to getting into battles AND starting card games. Again, there is no escape.
What inevitably happens (if you don’t quit immediately) is that you put up with this and equip the spells and summons as best you can, in three sets, that you can switch between characters. This is largely a farce, though, since you’re just going to attack Squall until he’s in critical HP, and then have him spam his Renzokuken Limit Break endlessly, since it hits a large amount of times.
If only there was a game that allowed you to hit multiple times, without having to be on the verge of death. Oh yeah, Final Fantasy I… It’s utterly incomprehensible that VIII chose to make class-specific skills into Limits. Why isn’t the Blue Mage casting Blue Magic? Why isn’t the Monk doing his special attacks, at will? Why isn’t the gunman using special ammo? Why is the Beastmaster not using her beast? The ways to prevent players from spamming these skills are MP pools, fighting game inputs, and ammo supplies. They had all of this down pat two games prior! But, here, they all have to be nearly dead to use their special skills. What? Why?!?!
I’ll address Triple Triad, here, because I want to end with some discourse on the story and characters. When I think of VIII, I'm always struck by how I remember the events of it, but virtually nothing of the characters. They are character sketches, at best. Ideas jotted on a napkin, by a writer, that were never brought to life, never developed. It's exactly the same in Uchu Sentai Kyuranger. At the end of the series, because there have been no personal interactions between them, no bonding, no hanging out, the Senshi are STILL just character sketches. 50 hours, or 50 episodes, and there's nothing to show for any of these characters beyond: "This is the brooding lead." "This is the sickeningly cute girl." "This is the chef.” Many members of the party in Xenogears only have their introductory story event to their names. This is honestly much more than most of the party in VIII can claim. They’re almost like Transformers: they’re definitely personalities, but not really characters.
Part of the issue is that Squall is given carte blanche to turn them off like light-switches. Quistis TRIES to be a character, but Squall flatly says, ‘NO. Not on my watch.’ No one should ever be given this manner of power.
When it comes to the story…I still don’t entirely understand it. I’ve definitely heard some theories about it, but none of them have helped me. The resolution to this amorphous issue is honestly awe-inspiring, in the worst possible way. You are going to be presented with the most bald reasoning I have ever witnessed. It’s like an animatronic that has been stripped of not only its skin, but also all of the plastic shielding holding its wire guts to shape.
You can’t do that. You have to come up with some explanation, guys. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it has to EXIST. I’m talking Care Bears, here, guys. Care Bears. Oh, and technically the game's biggest surprises are spoiled by the computer you can access at the very beginning of the game. But, who reads things? Oh wait, people who play RPGs... 😡
There was a time when I actually strolled into a forum and claimed that this was my favorite game. Do you know why? Because it helped me waste time. It gave me something to do, while I was coming to grips with something I had lost. First came VIII, then came XII. I needed time and distractions. If that’s all you need, have at it. It’s great for wasting your time, but little else.
A dumpster fire, from stem to stern. I don’t understand how things like this and Kyuranger make it out of development, in such a state.
I'll stick with Dirge, tyvm~
Buying Guide: Originally a PSX release. Also, PC. It's been remastered, so it's on PS4, Switch, and Xbox One. I've seen some screenshots. They definitely half-assed it. I'm honestly not surprised. Wait, didn't they lose the source code, or something? Some things are lost for a reason, mir?
0 Dreamy Cowboys For Selphie To Bang, Even If She Wrote This Fanfiction out of 5
