Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (1988)

Genre: Action, Platformer, RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami

This review is an experiment. Or, more precisely, this playthrough was an experiment. It had been decades since I last played Simon’s Quest, in any serious capacity, and I wanted to judge it as objectively as possible. Were the virtually universal problems with the game actually legitimate complaints? I was determined to find out. There were some solutions that I could not remove from my memory, however. In those cases, I set about determining if there was ANY way to intuit those things in the course of normal play, bereft of Nintendo Power and the strategy guide of its era that I had back then. I fully admit that there was an obscene amount of nostalgia in play, but I did my best to not let that determine the score.

No matter the outcome, I knew a singular truth would remain, one that outreaches its success or failure as a playable and enjoyable experience: this is the kind of game that I like. Honestly, it’s the first game I encountered that won me over with its ATMOSPHERE. I do enjoy the original Castlevania and Dracula’s Curse, and I now believe that those are very successful at creating atmosphere in their own right. This is because of my latter-day experiences with Castlevania IV. However, none of those are the type of game that I innately prefer. Simon’s Quest has you visiting towns, exploring the countryside, finding secrets, and collecting a set of special objects. The engine is very similar to the other two games in the franchise that were released on the NES, but the execution is almost wholly different. You aren’t traveling a fixed path. You have to backtrack and explore the world. Your progression is dependent on finding, buying, and trading items; it’s the first step towards Metroidvania! I love the world and I love the mythos. As a kid, I pored over Oriental Trading catalogues to find exactly the right toys to be Dracula’s body parts. As much as a ring can be a body part, at any rate… I still have my two copies of Christopher Howell's Worlds of Power adaptation! I even had the Tiger Electronics handheld.

Right, onto the game itself: Hearts act as currency and seemingly allow you to level up. There's an experience meter, but in my...experience, I've always leveled up when actually collecting a heart. You have three lives but this only really matters when you’re grinding to buy something. I.e., when you’re trying to buy something, park yourself on the closest screen with enemies and BE CAREFUL until you’ve reached your goal and made the purchase. Okay, okay, continuing does affect the ending you'll receive, as well. I'll get to that in time.

Frankly, this does everything right that Zelda II does wrong. Yeah, you're moving back and forth and up and down levels, but the areas look different. They're colored diversely. Different colored woods, different colored skies, different colored towns. There's as much back and forth in the entire game as there is in, I dunno, the first two palaces in Zelda II? That game is out of its mind. I should have scored it lower.

It is similar to that game in that if you're playing on an NES, you'll be placed back in Jova when entering the password you can ask for when you Game Over. They’re a little lengthy (16 characters), but they aren't the worst I've heard of, and Jova is fairly centrally located. If you're playing on the Virtual Console, just exit to the Wii Menu when on the Game Over screen, without resetting. That way, you can pick up exactly where you left off. You don't even have to write down the passwords thanks to this de-facto save state!

Alright, moment of truth: In my opinion, it's not badly translated. It's deliberately cryptic. The manual even says that some of the townspeople are tricksters! I had one problem, and it was the result of a lack of exploration and an assumption naturally made by the human brain given the specific visual stimuli on display. However, that decidedly is NOT the result of mistranslation. I was able to completely fill out the menu and do EVERYTHING, except proceed to the endgame. I acknowledge that not being able to find Castlevania is an intensely significant act with which to have trouble. However, it is nice to see that the greatest challenge was the final one. Someone more clever and thorough than me could easily manage it. I'm just over the moon that it didn't involve the translation or any of the puzzle-solving!

It was partially MY fault, and partially the designers being intimately aware of the intricacies of human perception and thought processes. I think it's a fair and intelligent challenge. You're free to disagree all you want.

You’ll have to play for speed if you want the 'better' endings, but that’s no different than other games on the system (e.g., Metroid). Also, the ending you’re almost assuredly going to get the first time is completely fine! I like it better than the 'middle' ending, to be frank. Also also, this really is obviously all about the journey.

I'm not sorry, guys; this is an ambitious, fully fleshed-out NES game, whose clue-dependent puzzles can be solved with the text as it was presented. If you'd like to see my justifications for the ones that I couldn't forget the solutions to, please check below the cut. More than anything, though, I'd like this to serve as evidence for my belief that, if you're truly interested in something, you should judge it yourself.

Buyer's Guide: Originally an NES game. It seems it was re-done for the PC. I know for a fact that it was on the Wii and Wii U Virtual Consoles. It's also on the NES mini. It is not, however, on the Famicom Mini. They included Final Fantasy III, instead. Not VI, the real III. What were they thinking!?!?! There's a redacted version out there, available on actual carts, but it should be obvious that I don't think you need to bother with that sort of thing.

4 Deliciously Bloody Tears out of 5

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (1997)

Genre: Platforming, Metroidvania, RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo

Symphony of the Night is the quintessential example of a game that largely changed, and then subsequently dictated, the gameplay of its franchise, going forward. While most games of the era were focused on delivering early, pioneering 3D experiences, Castlevania instead dedicated itself to perfecting a sex-tight 2D platforming juggernaut. To my knowledge, this was the birth of the hybrid sub-genre, Metroidvania. Which, is famous for draping the former’s power-up driven exploration in the quaint trappings of everyone’s favorite (non-sparkly) vampire lord.

This incarnation of the castle mostly exists as one large, interconnected experience. The various wings and caverns are united by loading zones perfectly masquerading as short hallways the length of Mega Man boss-corridors. Yes, you will be backtracking through areas multiple times, but you’ll always have new toys and abilities to dispatch the endlessly respawning minions of the night. Many of the weapons have special attacks that can be discovered through simple trial and error. The same is true for the button combinations necessary to elicit the spells already lying dormant in your arsenal. Though, there are scrolls available to teach you the lengthier ones, on your first playthrough. They are exquisitely fitting, given the protagonist’s lineage. SOTN was actually Alucard’s second appearance in the series, debuting as he did in Castlevania III. Thankfully, his movement is infinitely smoother and finessed, here, aided by several, once again, entirely apropos transformations.

All of this is topped off by what is objectively the largest easter egg a game could deliver without wearing out its welcome. At this point in my life, I could admit that it can indeed sometimes test my patience. But, I’ve thought about it, and I feel like that would be roasting a sacred cow, just for the sake of it. Simon’s Quest always leaves me wanting more, upon finishing a run, but SOTN is like Thanksgiving dinner: you’re going to feel bloated, but by next year, you’re going to be itching to do it all over again.

I suppose the elephant in the room is the spoken dialogue. Some have blasphemously described it as hokey! It’s found throughout, but especially at the outset. I find it entirely iconic, and I absolutely refuse to play any of the versions that have done away with it. It’s one of the absolute best parts of the experience, and I promise you that if you like the genre, setting, and themes at play, you will love SOTN. You will.

Buyer’s Guide: Originally on the Playstation 1. The Saturn port allows you to play as, and fight, Maria. It also provides a handful of gameplay extras and two additional areas to explore. It’s known as Dracula X: Nocturne in the Moonlight. The standard version is available as an unlockable extra in The Dracula X Chronicles on PSP. The version on Xbox live is said to remove much of the lag natively present in the game. However, it does away with the best video game song ever. I’ve got the PSN version installed on both my PS3 and PSP, and I’ve never noticed anything different from my PSX original. I.e., I absolutely recommend that release.

I have to imagine that the later ports are the ones that changed the voice acting. Look elsewhere for information on those. I will not be party to such treachery.


5 Miserable Little Piles of Secrets out of 5

Silent Hill 2 Expanded Editions (2001-03)

Genre: Survival-Horror / Action | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami

Maria’s sub-scenario was never released individually. However, I’m going to argue that because of it, the variously titled augmented release of Silent Hill 2 is significantly different from the original and is therefore worth addressing in detail, in the service of aiding potential or subsequent purchases. 

Right off the bat, I have seen this expanded version of the game advertised as containing new weapons. While undeniably factual, it sadly exists as a marketing machination and nothing more. They’re weapons for Maria, not for James, and they are simply variations of standard ones found in the main game, and the series at large. Put no weight into this bullet point.

The new endings are of course Maria’s and the UFO ending. It’s retroactively hard for me to believe that they initially left that out, but they did. If you’re the sort to shoot for the 10 star ranking, it’s a bit easier to do on the vanilla release as you don’t have to spend time doing a UFO run. One less available ending is one less ending to achieve. Maria’s is done well and cannot be divorced from her journey, hence it is a legitimate selling point.

That journey is the crux of the entire issue. Do I think her scenario is worth purchasing the enhanced edition of the game over? I personally feel it IS a worthwhile use of one’s time. However, I am very aware that I am a diehard fan of the game and consequently biased. It exists as part of Silent Hill 2 and gels with themes of the franchise and specifics of the game proper, so of course I would feel that it’s indispensable. To someone new to the game, I would objectively say: if you can find a version of it containing the extras for up to ~$5 USD more than the standard release, grab it to avoid having to double-dip, should you end up loving the experience. If you have the original and adore it, go ahead and double up. I cannot see a big fan of it being disappointed.

 

Oh Neg, you bittersweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing at me, reader, click here.

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s short. Incredibly so. However, the atmosphere is unique in the scope of the series and it’s even given nods in other entries. All of the following are the complete version of the game containing the additions covered herein:

Silent Hill 2 for Windows

Silent Hill 2: Inner Fears for Xbox (Europe)

Silent Hill 2: Director’s Cut for PS2 (Europe)
Silent Hill 2: Saigo no Uta for PS2 & Xbox (Japan)*

Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams for Xbox (North America)
Silent Hill 2 Greatest Hits release for PS2 (North America)**

Silent Hill HD Collec.....DON’T. YOU. EVEN. THINK. ABOUT. IT.

3½ NOPE Moments Actually Not Elicited By A Radio out of 5

This score is obviously for Born From A Wish and the UFO Ending

*Listed solely for completion's sake. DO. NOT. expect to be able to play this on a NA or PAL console, or it to be entirely in English.
**Be sure the disc is shown in listings before purchasing. I've seen listings on ebay that are the Greatest Hits case and the black-label disc. Make sure the disc has the red coloring beneath the PS2 branding. If it's the GH disc and the original case, however, I'd say snap it up. Best of both worlds!

Ys: The Ark of Napishtim (2006)

Genre: Action RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Nihon Falcom Corporation

 Ys is a long running series and this installment picks up from a previous game. The main hero is Adol; a red haired, do-gooder pirate who was thrown from his ship in a storm and has now washed ashore on the Canaan Islands which are home to a mystical race of people called Rehda. Now he must figure out how to leave the island which is no easy feat as the storm that brought him here is actually a never-ending vortex surrounding the whole island that has a reputation for stranding lost travelers, so he must instead try to keep peace between the native Rehda villagers and the settlement of stranded humans.

Gameplay is a standard action-RPG variety. Adol can attack in real time with various upgrade-able swords and can boost his stats with new equipment. There are also a small selection of special moves and a magic spell that changes depending on what weapon is currently being used which must be charged by giving or receiving damage. The enemies are surprisingly varied and the action is quick and simple, but still satisfying. The art and music are top notch though the PSP version was downgraded to sprites from the PS2/PC version with full polygons that change based on Adol's equipment. The only thing really wrong is the loading times. They are far too long and far too frequent. The game loads after exiting EVERY. DAMN. ROOM and can take up to 20 seconds which is sometimes longer than the time that will even be spent in said room. It is massively annoying to load and enter an empty room for that long and then it takes 3 seconds to turn left and boom there is another loading screen. The game was good enough to force my way through it, but it was still problematic. One more nitpick is I had to turn down the SFX volume because the sound of Adol's footsteps were loud as fuck and sounded like he had hooves.

Buyer's Guide:
Available for PC, PS2 and PSP. Go for the PS2 version if you can for full polygons, voice acting and to avoid the chronic load times. The only thing the PSP version has going for it is a few added fetch quests and an unlockable media database.

3 Anti-hero assholes in all black out of 5

Silent Hill Downpour (2012)

Genre: Survival-Horror, Action | Players: 1 | Developer: Vatra Games

As scary as it is, I have a needlessly long history with this game. A history characterized by allegations about the mechanics and dread regarding the future of the franchise. I finally faced those fears, however.

The new, titular mechanic is the rain cycle. Stay outside long enough and it will begin to storm. This is positively correlated with enemy spawns. Escaping into buildings will usually reset the weather and elicit an auto-save. I would complain, but we’ve always been at the mercy of save points, so it isn’t a huge deal. Side-quest accomplishments also grant saves, keeping this new “open world” take on the town tolerable.

Only one such quest requires you to have previously cleared the story, but there is no New Game+ feature to help you if you missed any others. The nature of Silent Hill would have easily justified spitting you back out just before the point of no return.

Several saves are held in memory and load easily for scumming purposes, as this isn’t Homecoming. No auto-circling, no dodge rolls. Your melee weapons can break, but it’s only noteworthy on higher difficulties. It should also be said that the method of choosing what guns to stash can be a little obtuse.

In general, Murphy needs to run to both fight effectively and advance the plot. Yes, Shattered Memories’ chase mechanic returns. The paths are much tighter and require both trial & error and observation to overcome being lost in a loop. I found it simply different, not better or worse.

Its return is actually telling of the game’s intentional design. This, and the lack of traditional boss battles, facilitate an optional mode of play that is appropriate for Murphy’s character. In the end, that’s a huge part of what a successful Silent Hill game needs to do: Atmosphere must be married to gameplay decisions that inform and correctly suit the protagonist.

Ultimately, Downpour’s only great crime is its tendency to stutter briefly on occasion. This can occur when the game is trying to micro-load, is preparing to award a trophy, or is switching to a rare, fixed camera angle. It’s a legitimate problem, but it never happened as I was fighting or during the chase sequences; it never got me hurt.

I’m playing apologist. I adore this series; I will never be sorry about that.

Welcome to the fold, Murphy.

Buyer's Guide: Cheaply available on both PS3 and Xbox 360. Oh Neg, you bittersweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing at me, reader, click here.

3½ Todd Manning Scars out of 5

Castlevania IV (1991)

Genre: Platformer | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami

I refuse to call a Nintendo game by the obligatory console moniker if it’s numbered. Deal. 

To cut straight to the quick: If you find Castlevania 1 and 3 too hard and you want the warm and fuzzies of being able to say you beat a classic entry in the series, this is the game for you. You can reverse your jumps in mid-air (to a slight degree) and your whip is OP as all fuck. You can attack in the eight cardinal directions and, yes, Egoraptor was (mostly) right. You don’t need the sub-weapons, aside from one critical instance. You’ll remember I had a similar issue with Final Fantasy XIII-2.

Despite the ego boost, there is something lacking. I prefer every other “classic” Castlevania that I've experienced, to this. Maybe there is something to getting your ass kicked by the more iconic entries, after all. Plus, the levels don’t grab me or manifest as much atmosphere as the ones comprising the NES games. This is very contrary to the norm for me, and I am rather perplexed by it.

The free rotate tool....I mean, Mode 7 is used in a small stretch but does little to impress in 2013. I know from a historical stand point that this game made a big impression as a fairly early SNES title, and I’m usually pretty fanboy-ish when it comes to the system. Still, this has never had much in the way of staying power in Negland, obligatory hard mode, or not.

Buyer’s Guide: It’s an SNES game. It’s on the Virtual Console and the SNES mini.

3 STS Logos of Future-Past out of 5

Dawn of Sorrow (2005)

Genre: Metroidvania, Action, Platformer, RPG | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami

I am the definition of a casual Castlevania fan. As such, Soma Cruz is a new face, to me. It seems this protagonist of Dawn of Sorrow (and Aria of Sorrow, before it) stakes his fame on having dominance over monsters' souls. The categorical breakdown is fuzzy, but in short, some grant him special attacks, some improve his stats, and some help him traverse his environment. Collecting them unfortunately adds a heaping helping of grinding to your main course of Metroidvania goodness.

To prevent this from being called Rare Drop: The Game, the designers have placed enemies in easy farming locations and built in the freedom to allow you to focus on the task when you choose to. You can keep working on cleared save files, start a New Game +, or trade souls wirelessly with a friend. You can also create and share custom challenge maps using the souls you’ve acquired. This is where the shared experience ends however, as you are on your own to guide Soma to the finish line.

In getting to that point, Aria players will experience a violent case of deja vu. Outside of a few new twists, this is essentially a remake clothed in the slight trappings of a sequel. From the mostly reused soul functions all the way down to the same money grinding exploit, this game screams rehash.

The only truly new mechanics are the use of magical seals and a weapon upgrade system. To finish off bosses you must trace a sealing pattern on the touch screen. The consequence of failing is having to hit the boss a few more times and trying again; you don’t have to start from scratch. Consequently, it’s a useless, but harmless enough addition. Keeping an eye out for the souls needed to upgrade your weapons of choice, though, will keep you well above the curve in terms of strength, and is incredibly worthwhile.

Ultimately, the characters are comfortable and serviceable enough, and the gameplay is adequately polished that I can recommend it to someone who hasn’t played a Metroidvania game in a good long while, or wants to relive Aria with a fresh coat of paint. If you have no such desires, it is an easy enough pass.

Buyer's Guide: I'd mainly look for it on the DS, but sources say it was released for mobile devices, as well.

3½ Uppercuts to Frankenstein's Monster's Junk out of 5

Silent Hill (1999)

Genre: Survival-Horror / Action | Players: 1

Developer: Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo

In my self-limited experience with the Survival-Horror genre, there are two monolithic pillars: Resident Evil and Silent Hill. Resident Evil may have come first and hold the hearts of more fans, but Silent Hill speaks to me in a far deeper way. Rather than crawling through austere mansions and sterile research labs, SH forces one to explore far more mundane environments, coated in a grime that perfectly symbolizes the depths of what you are truly plumbing: the human psyche and soul.

You don’t play Silent Hill for scares-per-minute and non-stop action. The best moments come from the near-constant tension of creeping through an abandoned town and any structure therein relevant to the main plot of the early games, or the past of ALL of the gloriously fractured protagonists. The original game, while focusing a bit too much on outdoor environments, does its best to introduce the small handful of locations that became iconic for the series as a whole.

Far more than in any of the other games, these locales act as home to a large treasure trove of easter eggs paying homage to horror movies, novels, pop-culture, and, strangely, Kindergarten Cop. Unfortunately, environmental and logic puzzles aren’t the only thing impeding your urban exploration. A relatively fixed camera works together with tank controls to conjure horrible memories of that other vaunted series’ early games. Thankfully, the difficulty isn’t horribly high even on Hard. This is good, because you’re going to need all the help you can get to achieve a 10 star rating, which encompasses—among other things—killing enemies in various ways, avoiding damage, making good time, and achieving all the permutations of the endings.


I personally recommend not tackling that ludicrous challenge. Silent Hill games are best experienced through systematic lingering, to appreciate the creepily rendered environments and superb music and sound effects. Even the b-movie acting and plot can’t dampen the atmosphere manifested in this mostly complete package.

If this review seems far vaguer than the others on this site, your mind isn’t playing tricks on you. It’s intentional. I personally invite you to kick back in a dimly lit room and walk in Harry’s footsteps as he searches for his daughter Cheryl. You might be surprised to find where the journey will take you, and how far down this rabbit hole goes. Happy exploring.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on the original Playstation and Playstation Network. Expect to part with more cash than you’d like for a black-label original, or even a Greatest Hits-branded copy. PSN is the answer you seek. True enough (assuming the PSN is still functioning). Still, I had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. Click here.

4 'Totally-not-the-Triforce's out of 5

Nutted by NEG (aka: He who knows!)

Silent Hill: Origins (2007)

Genre: Survival-Horror, Action | Players: 1 | Developer: Climax Studios 

Bringing a survival-horror franchise to a handheld is a very thin tight-wire to walk, and Silent Hill Origins does it with a fair amount of aplomb. Still, it does come relatively close to slipping off. Fortunately, its missteps only break the rules of handheld gaming convenience, and not the game itself. If all of the 4 main areas had lasted as long as the introductory trip through Alchemilla, this would have been a perfect on-the-go experience. However, I think this would have also been rather disappointing. The designers must have realized this themselves, as the rest are around two to four times as long.

As strange as it may sound, I really think it works in the game’s favor that it doesn’t feel like it was designed for the small screen. I’d rather suffer infrequent opportunities to save than a game filled with areas explored only on a surface level. Much of the depth here is thanks to a new mechanic that allows players to switch between misty and nightmare sides on command, through the use of mirrors. This is much akin to A Link to the Past and the Constantine licensed game.

Besides this mechanic, the only true gameplay differences between Origins and the original ‘trilogy’ of games are that Travis is a competent bare-knuckle brawler and his weapons, though very numerous, break rather quickly. There are so many littered around the environments, in fact, that this never feels like a hinderance. Even if you break all that you have available (and use up all your ammo), Travis is still perfectly capable of dusting enemies with his own two fists.

Thankfully, for those who find the series’ 10-star system overwhelming, Travis’s achievements are broken into discrete accolades that can be completed over as many playthroughs as necessary. These all unlock weapons and costumes (some with their own tangible benefits!).

On the story-front, Origins—appropriately, given the nature of the number 0—plays like both an Even and an Odd entry. Travis’s interactions with Alessa demonstrate the events leading up to the original game, and yet there is a VERY strong emphasis on Travis himself.

Even if it brings into question the appropriateness of this game being on a handheld, I still believe that a little annoyance in terms of when you can save is a small price to pay to take this splendid trip.

Buyer’s Guide:
Originally available only on PSP, Origins eventually found its way onto the PS2. While the graphics are crisper and have more care put into them on the PSP, it is still cheaper and far more practical to track down a copy of the port if you don’t own the nefarious handheld. From my experience, it’s better to hunt for this game online these days, in either form.

Oh Neg, you bittersweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing at me, reader, click here.

4 Unwarranted Cases of Blue-Balls out of 5

Nutted by NEG

Silent Hill 3 (2003)

Genre: Survival-Horror / Action | Players: 1

Developer: Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo

For a game that presents practically nothing different in terms of gameplay and design from its immediate predecessor, Silent Hill 3 sure accomplishes a lot. It manages to adeptly continue the narrative thread running through the original game, while also wrapping the second game into the fabric of the franchise through its joke, UFO ending. Verily, it proves that the characters of the franchise are not only loosely strung together in terms of emotional resonance, but that they can also be laughed at and adored in spite of their gravity.

Heather takes the promise shown by her father’s prowess with a katana and parlays it into becoming the first entirely effective melee combatant of the series. That isn’t to say she is lacking in the firepower department, however. Indeed, a good balance of special weapons are on display here for those who only want to complete the game, and for those seeking to unlock its full, glorious arsenal. Weapons aren’t the only unlockables, though. A robust wardrobe is at Heather’s disposal, as designed by numerous gaming publications and Konami itself. One of the required codes is available in the game, and you can unlock certain others, but a trip to the interwebs is required to properly fill out her closet.

The standard course of logic and environmental puzzles will lead you to disturbing, creepsome, and bizarre set pieces as well as the best nightmare transitions of the entire series. A staggering amount of care was put into the selection and execution of the environments that house these and ferry Heather along her path. While easy to take for granted, the voice acting conveys with subtle nuance just how simultaneously meek, strong, and human all of the characters can be. Appropriately, 3 delivers on the promise and build-up of the original, while emphasizing character in a manner similar to 2. Even if the chassis is the same, what’s under the hood is entirely unique and demands a play from anyone who claims to be a Silent Hill fan.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on PS2, PC, and PS3 as part of the Silent Hill HD Collection. That version, however, includes new voices without the option to use the originals, unlike 2, which is part of the same collection. There exists a PS2 release which packages in the OST, as well. It includes everything from the stand-alone release, save the 3 Voices Edit of Rain of Brass Petals. Definitely the version to grab if you find it in a used bin.

Oh Neg, you bittersweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing at me, reader, click here.

5 Stinking-Mouth Bitches out of 5

Nutted by NEG

Silent Hill 4: The Room (2004)

Genre: Survival-Horror / Action | Players: 1
Developer: Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo

If anything can be said for 4, it’s that games actually can justify their place in franchises they weren't originally meant to be part of. Further, this should be judged for oneself, on the merits of the finished product. Do not let your feelings about it be determined by popular opinion or initial impressions. Akin to Hibiki of Kamen Rider fame, The Room more than earns its spot in the Silent Hill series. However, know that the differences inherent are what both define it, and make it a less than perfect entry.

The limited inventory system, while weakly validated, will not present you with extreme troubles. You will have no need of the scarce firearms and their space-hogging ammo stacks once you’ve tried out the Rusty Axe and its brethren. Indeed, 4 stands with 3 and Homecoming as an entry with a satisfying, varied, and effective melee system. Aside from weapons and health and puzzle items, you are also tasked with collecting spirit-warding artifacts to use in your apartment. Said apartment acts as a hub-world between various sub-spaces, and houses set pieces such as hauntings that must be dealt with if you are to achieve the 'better' endings. This area is experienced in first-person and is effective in how it goes from being a safe-haven to just another part of the nightmare as the game progresses. It also further ties into what becomes an interconnected game world. At first, you will explore individual, discrete areas. Over time, however, you will end up revisiting each of them in a series of threaded experiences. As you do so, you will be escorting someone who can actually fend for themselves to a degree. Ultimately, their biggest impact is that they slightly slow your movement, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

The final unique feature of 4 is how the lead, Henry, is hands-down the least interesting character in the game. This, however, can be attributed to what he’s experienced and affords us a (nearly) silent protagonist with which to witness the twisted story of one of Silent Hill’s most compelling denizens: Walter Sullivan. If you have the patience and inclination to try something different, I can absolutely recommend giving this a spin. It can be a bit stilted, but I think it is ultimately rewarding because of its 'ancillary' characters, unique take on the structure of Silent Hill, and loose association with 2.

If you'd like to read my updated thoughts, please head below the cut.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available on PS2, Xbox, and PC. While you can occasionally find it in used bins, I would recommend hunting around online for a good deal, as it is usually pretty pricey, in all its incarnations. Borrowing it from a Silent Hill-obsessed friend is honestly your best course of action.

Oh Neg, you bittersweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing at me, reader, click here.

3½ Abandoned Umbilical Cords out of 5

Nutted by NEG

Silent Hill 2 (2001)

Genre: Survival-Horror / Action | Players: 1 | Developer: Konami

Like Final Fantasy before it, Silent Hill veered off in a new direction following the well-recieved original. It wasn’t too different, however, as this is part of the original ‘trilogy’ of roughly comparable entries in the series. You no longer follow Harry Mason, but are instead put into the shoes of James Sunderland, a man looking for his deceased wife in the titular town, following his receipt of a letter beckoning him to the place they once held dear.

The game follows the same basic formula as Silent Hill, tasking you with exploring a new portion of the misty and foreboding resort town while solving simple environmental puzzles and a few logic puzzles of varying degrees of difficulty. The environments you explore are all easily seen as symbolic after you have completed the game at least once. The puzzles can also be seen through that lens if you have the inclination to place them in its line of sight. The combat is stiff for the most part, but there are enough bullets to go around, assuming you don’t waste them on enemies in the streets.

As always with these games, value is mainly garnered from the story and the atmosphere created by the exquisitely chosen environments. Anyone with a penchant for urban exploration and the deeper corners of the human mind...probably already loves this series! If you haven’t played a Silent Hill game, however, this is a fantastic introduction, as you do not need to have played the original to enjoy this one. It has the strongest story and some of the most memorable music in the entire series.

The game’s biggest strength is that even if you cannot personally empathize with James, you will still have conflicting and sometimes violent emotions roused in you as you traverse the town and his psyche, simultaneously.

Buyer’s Guide:
This game is available in its original release on the PS2. However, there is a Greatest Hits version which adds in the UFO ending and a playable sub-scenario for Maria, one of the characters in the game. This 'complete' version is also available as Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams on the Xbox. The PC port contains these extra features, as well.

Don't bother with the HD remake. If you're curious as to why, AFTER you've played this in its proper form, check out Twin Perfect and Fungo's documentary on the subject, which can be found on Youtube.

The things the world and corporate entities do... Please click here.

5 Special Places out of 5

Nutted by NEG

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time (1992)

Genre: Beat ‘Em Up  |  Players: 1 to 2 co-op  |  Developer: Konami

It’s time to play with power, both the Nintendo and especially the Turtle kind because today we’ve got a brief overview of a fan favorite SNES title.

Did Konami score a 9.95 in a time when most licensed titles kinda totally blew or did they just make a funny?

Gameplay:

Walk from the right side of the screen to the left and beat the shit out of everyone. Face off with the boss at the end and then advance to the next level scoring points and grabbing the occasional power up along the way and generally try not to die. Repeat until the end.

Being an arcade title form the 90’s means that the action can get repetitive but I find that the difficulty and length of the game is just right so that if you’re playing with a buddy you’ll beat the game before it gets boring and that while you’re not going to want 2nds right away you might find it fun again later on down the pipe.

Controls:

D-pad to move around, 1 button for attacking & 1 button form jumping. The move set is both varied and limited in that you have several different jump attacks, rush moves,  & 2 different grab attacks but they’re performed by attacking a foe when stunned and at different angels like the throws or by hitting the jump and attack buttons at different times with one another to high kick, drop kick ett., while pressing both buttons simultaneously unleashes a maximum damage inducing special attack that eats some of your life bar. 

Graphics:

Bright and colorful with a strong comic book or cartoon vibe that when paired with the animations of the characters fills the game with the same spirit that the cartoon or lighter Archie Turtle comics had.

Sound:

Well suited sound effects coupled with a high energy soundtrack and sound bites; (“My toe, my toe ~weeooweeooweeo”) makes the audio of the game feel ‘Turtley” even when the components used were never implemented in the original cartoon.

Story:

The Evil Shredder attacks and the turtle boys don’t cut him no slack. There also might be time travel.

Buyer’s Guide:

I believe there just so happens to be 4 different versions of this game.

• The original is actually a 4 player arcade cabinet game.
• The version we’re looking at today is the Super Nintendo port which added a new technodrome level as well as some more enemies and a VS. & Time Trial modes. While all the other versions have 4 player co-op the SNES only has 2 but I think it’s probably the best one.
• In the game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare a slightly tweaked version of the arcade game was a bonus you could unlock.
• And in 2009 Ubisoft released an updated remake entitled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles In Time Re-Shelled with new graphics more akin to the 2007 TMNT movie. It’s based off  the arcade version so sadly all the extras form the SNES aren’t present. It’s available for X-Box 360 & PS3 as a downloadable game and supports 4 players both in real life and online.

4 xenomorhs incubated inside Chucky Cheese pizzas out of 5