Assassin's Creed: Freedom Cry (2014)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 | Developer: Ubisoft

Our introduction to Freedom Cry’s protagonist Adéwalé was in Ass Creed IV: Black Flag (2013) when he served as quartermaster aboard Captain Kenway's pirate ship, the Jackdaw. FC is set fifteen years after that time, with the former quartermaster now a fully-fledged assassin and Captain of his own vessel.

Things go bad and Adéwalé gets washed ashore after a shipwreck. The place he lands is Saint-Domingue, a French colony on the Caribbean island of Hispaniola. In Saint-Domingue black workers are kept as slaves by cruel white masters. Adéwalé empathises with the working men and women, having once been held in similar chains, so he chooses to stay and liberate them using his assassin skills.

Originally a DL-only addition to Black Flag it was subsequently released as a standalone title minus the IV prefix in the title. That means if you own the Ass Creed IV disc you can choose the original partial download. It’s the full FC game but makes use of your existing AC IV install files. If you don’t have the disc you can download a larger file enabling you to play the full FC game in its standalone guise. At full price, when compared to the amount of gameplay that IV gives you, FC is piss-poor value. It doesn't get close to my definition of value for money.

The biggest addition to gameplay is the ability to free slaves from plantations. In fact, it’s your currency while on land. It sounds odd, but (once unlocked) guns and ammunition are free as reward for selfless services rendered. The better items can only be purchased once you've freed enough people.

There’s an important social message at its core that's deserving of wider attention, but everything about the expansion feels rushed, from the story to the poorly thought-out progressions and limited number of upgrades. Whereas IV had more in it than it first appeared, FC has less than it first appears. The majority of the locations are nothing more than a tiny beach area with two or three visible treasure chests. You’ll visit them once, with no need to ever return. Worse still, the sea shanties are absent, meaning sea journeys feel longer and are mirthless.

The few larger areas that make up the bulk of the game are well-designed and would've fit nicely into IV. It's a shame there isn't more to do within them and that the missions on them are so broken. Of the nine memories (missions) available, I had to restart six because of glitches. One in particular had to be restarted four times because the same glitch made it impossible to complete. That's the kind of thing I'd expect in a beta, not a final product. Well, except a Ubisoft product.

2½ changing tides out of 5

Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (2013)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

Pop or feed the disc into your machine, allow it to install, get the huge (over one gig) patch to fix all the things that should’ve been fixed before it was released, sign in or skip the Ubisoft registration and you’ll finally be ready to play Black Flag, a prequel to the previous game, Ass Creed III (2012). It takes the seafaring aspect of III and expands it, giving you full access to your very own upgradable pirate ship and a huge ocean environment in which to jolly and roger around in.

Navigating is as simple as turning the bow of your ship in the direction you want to go and instructing the crew to drop sails. There are occasional hazards and enemy fleets to contend with, but unlike, for example, TLoZ: Wind Waker (2003), the actual journeying from place to place isn't dull. You can pick up flotsam and jetsam, go whaling (nasty, nasty business), engage other ships in combat and even have the crew sing sea shanties to fill the silence. The shanties are excellent.

Once you've discovered a location and synced with it by climbing to specific high points you can fast travel there at any time without having to set sail. Fast travel comes in very handy for side-quests and gathering collectables: Animus fragments, maps, buried treasure, hunting, crafting, upgrading (self and ship) and collecting sea shanty pages are some of what the world offers. The menus are packed with additional info relating to all aspects of the gameworld, from actual historical records of people and locations to transcribed song lyrics.

The story is better than anything Desmond ever had. As Edward Kenway you'll make friends, lose friends and even bury a few. I loved how they deepened the layers of interaction through him. You’re an Abstergo employee playing around inside the genetic memories of someone else who, at one time, is a pirate masquerading as an Assassin who’s masquerading as a Templar. Bravo, team.

The modern day sections of the game are more colourful than usual, but are still generally crap in comparison to the Animus adventures. Searching for sticky notes is a pain in the ass and playing a variation of Frogger to hack a computer is stupid.

The music has always been one of the best things about the series. In that it excels again, this time courtesy of Brian Tyler. It's been in my head for weeks.

I'd rather not end this review on a downer, but Ubisoft leave me little choice because in order to access small but crucial parts of the game—parts that are on the actual disc when you buy it, not DLC—players are required to create an account with their UPlay division. If you want to acquire all ship adornments and completely fill your inventory in the one player game then you need that UPlay account. Consequently, my AC IV inventory remains incomplete.

4 teeth of Neptune out of 5

Assassin's Creed II (2009)

Genre: Action  / Adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Ubisoft

I was disappointed we didn't get the historical Japanese setting that was hinted at in the previous game, but that was softened by Ass Creed II outperforming its predecessor in every way. I replayed it recently and can confidently say that it’s still my favourite of the entire series so far. I don’t have first-hand experience of any version other than the PS3, but as far as it goes it works straight out of the box, without the need for patches or updates and it was glitch free. The only reset I was forced to perform was when I had more than a dozen enemies pursuing me simultaneously over a large distance and got overly-happy with the smoke bombs, the PS3 RAM didn't like that much, but that’s what I get for pissing about; none of the mission objectives will ask that kind of activity of you.

Ezio’s training in the past, sometime around the second half of fifteenth century Renaissance Italy, is a crucial element in Desmond’s education and evolution as an assassin in the present. It’s a small link between the two eras, but at least it’s something. Bless them for trying. The story even has a go at addressing the reason everyone speaks fluent English (except when it’s more dramatic for them to revert to their native Italian); it made me chuckle.

If you want to take the experience further there are many database entries filled with facts about the era and a large dollop of supposition about the people featured in the story. It's entirely optional, but it's a nice addition.

Surely there are some down sides? Of course, there’s a few. The frame rate isn't perfect, but that’s likely the trade-off for the world being so open and the draw distance. Secondly, there’s historian Shaun Hastings, an NPC that you’re forced to interact with more than once in order to advance the story. He looks like a git, he sounds like a git and he behaves like a git, ergo, he's a contemptible git.

Note: The missing/corrupt memories you encounter are filled in via DLC. It’s Ubisoft, after all, and that’s how they roll. They claim the levels just weren't ready in time, but I don’t believe that for a second. They just wanted more of your cash. They didn't get mine. The eventual GOTY edition has it all in one place.

A direct sequel to the story, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, was released on November 2010 for PS3, Xbox 360, PC and Mac. Milk that titty, Ubisoft.

4 beneficial bleedings out of 5

Assassin's Creed: Liberation HD (2014)

Genre: Action / Adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Ubisoft

Ass Creed got its first playable female protagonist in AC: Lib. The creation of Aveline de Grandpré, an assassin of African and French heritage, may well have been to address criticisms from gamers up to that point, but to Ubisoft's credit both aspects play a key role in the game. It's not just a cheap cosmetic change.

It uses the AC III game engine but does interesting things with it. Aveline can change her clothes to best suit the task at hand. Hold back the cries of Women + Video Game + Clothes = Sexism for a second because there's a good reason for her frequent visits to the clothing store. The 'guise' she wears gives her a persona that makes it easier to infiltrate certain areas and affords to her a level of camouflage; e.g. few people will look twice at a slave carrying a box into the servant's entrance of a rich Lord's house. But once in the house the box can be dropped and the hidden blades revealed.

The same applies to the opposite end of the societal spectrum. When dressed as a lady of leisure Aveline can gather information from people in power during their rich-folks garden party, etc. It enables the player to get right into the heart of the action instead of having to constantly hide some place and eavesdrop like a creep.

It takes place in America during the second half of the 18th Century. The astute among you will notice that that's the same era that AC III is set. Indeed, while Ratonhnhaké:ton was fighting Templar control in the colonies, Aveline was doing her part in New Orleans amid the transition from French to Spanish control of the city. However, while AC III was from the perspective of Desmond and his useless cohorts, AC: Lib is a virtual environment provided by Abstergo Industries, so the legitimacy of events is questionable - the assassin might not be perceived as the good guy (or gal) all the time. Is it enemy propaganda?

Some good: being on the HDD means it loads quickly. Aveline is a better thief than anyone that preceded her. Play the trading game properly and money will roll in easily. It's much easier to avoid detection from enemies; it's arguably too easy. Chain-kills are fun. Another returning feature from previous games is the glitches. I had to reboot the game four times, which was the second-lowest ever (hey, it's a kind of improvement). And best of all, there's no Desmond!

Some bad: you can’t skip FMV if you restart a Memory. The emptiness of many handheld games is carried over. The autosave sometimes doesn't work. It feels short in comparison to the others in the series. It tempts you with the idea that missions can be approached differently depending on which guise you adopt, but that rarely happens; it more often than not restricts you to one specific persona, even going so far as to automatically change it at mission start, meaning the game has a lot less freedom and certainly less replay value than it could've had.

3 unwashed scabs out of 5

Assassin's Creed III (2012)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

Ass Creed III is the (third) (fourth) fifth home console entry in the protracted series, and is a direct sequel to Ass Creed: Revelations (2011).  Desmond continues his attempt to avert the apocalypse by connecting to the memories of his ancestors in the deux ex machina known as the Animus.  This time he’s freeloading in the mind of his half-English, half-Mohawk ancestor, Ratonhnhaké:ton, helpfully also known as Connor, during the American Revolution.

It was released just under a year after Revelations.  Was it rushed?  The brokenness of the experience answers that question.  In just three sessions (on PS3)  I experienced such delights as doors refusing to open, doors that are open but impassable, mission objectives disappearing the instant I reached them, people stuck inside walls and floors, sound effects happening a week after the event they’re designed to accompany, slowdown during FMV and three freezes requiring a console reset.  (It went into meltdown once.  The picture faded to the colour of winter slush and was followed by some kind of demonic voice, as if Pazuzu was in my TV; it boomed from the amp at least three times louder than anything else.)  A patch was released that fixes some of those bugs but introduces others.  If you're not in a position to patch it, it'll be frustrating.

Ironically, there’s a hell of a good game beneath it all.  The new additions are broken but the concept behind them is to be applauded.  Some of the ideas are pilfered from Red Dead Redemption (2010) but having them in the Glitch Creed series offsets the tired formula with something that seems fresh.  If more time had been allowed for coding and Beta testing, then Ass Glitch could've been even better than it managed to be in its patched state!  When it works, it’s a definite series highlight and a genuinely thrilling experience.

Patched: 3½ poxy blankets out of 5  /  Unpatched: 2 master baiters out of 5

Assassin's Creed: Revelations (2011)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

Fourth game in the series.  The yearly updates are really beginning to impact on the quality; it feels hurried, and is glitchier than ever.  There’s nothing game-breaking but it’s frustrating restarting missions because some fool got himself entrenched in a wall.  My favourite was the beggar with the three-legged stool embedded in his chest.  He followed me like some kind of lovesick puppy.  I tried to kill him with the hidden blade but his stoic, mocking reluctance to even flinch while I repeatedly knifed him finally won out and I gave up.

It appears to finish both the stories of Altaïr and Ezio (who still runs like he's smuggling a potato up his hole).  Ezio’s ending is the first decent ending the series has ever had.  Of course they tack on a second one with Desmond that proves once again they’ve been winging it from day one with that piece of shit storyline.

Acquiring money is less of a hassle than before.  I'd every shop and faction building renovated, and discovered over 90% of the treasure (the remainder was in an inaccessible zone) after just the second chapter.  I was never, ever out of cash for essentials.  It was a pleasant change from previous games.

There are some new additions, the best of which are the zip-lines.  There's bomb crafting but you’ll rarely need to make use of it.  There's an unbelievably bad RTS section; it’s poorly designed.  The less said about the horse and carriage missions the better.  Instead of flags or feathers you have fragments to collect that open Desmond Missions in a hub-world.  A first-person perspective jumping and disappearing platform section has to be the worst idea conceived by anyone ever.

Ironically, the city of Constantinople is my favourite of any of the games so far; it’s beautifully realised and has less cul-de-sacs and pointless corners than previous cities.  It was a real joy to navigate.

Buyer's Guide:
Available for PS3, Xbox 360, and PC in too many editions.  The Standard / Animus / Collector's / Special / Signature / Ultimate / Ottoman Edition all add some extra crap.  The PS3 version comes with the first game free but they haven’t tweaked it or fixed the frame rate.

2½ warm potatoes out of 5

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (2010)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

Ezio Auditore from Ass Creed II (2009) is back.  Ezio is even more of a dick this time and the game struggles to continue his story.  It even makes some of your hard work in the previous game redundant to try and add drama, but the emotional attachment wasn't there for me, so I really didn't care that Ezio’s day had turned to shit.  Fuck him and his 'incognito' clothes.

It fixes none of the problems of previous games.  It even adds new ones.  It succumbs to the belief that if you can't make it better you make it bigger.  Bigger means more open space, which means pop-up is an issue.

You can now take your horse into town which is nothing short of useless.

Towns are badly designed compared to previous games, with too many dead ends.

You can still go 'invisible' by standing in a 'crowd' of four people but can no longer easily hide in hay, because the enemy will poke it with their swords.  A sword in the fruit stand will cause you to jump out and back into battle.

The voice acting is lifeless and stale, if you thought it was bad before and couldn't get any worse, then you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.

I'm disappointed in the decision to extend the trilogy in a way that only serves to highlight flaws and cripple any hope of rescuing the story from the pit they wrote themselves into.  The ending is abysmal and unsatisfying.

It's not all bad.  There's fun to be had; most of mine was attained outside of the core missions.  It includes a mini-management side mission that I really liked.  The parkour elements are still the best I've ever seen.  Hunting for treasure and killing troubadours was quality.  Pretending I was playing Prince of Persia helped.

It brought multiplayer to the series for the first time but I can’t comment on it. I've not played it.  I don't enjoy that kind of online shambles.

3 acrobats punched in the balls for jollies out of 5