Broforce (Brototype version) (2013)

Genre: Platformer / 3rd Person Shooter |  Players: One or 2 player Bro-op
Developer: Freelives

Broforce is, as the developers say, "a ridiculously violent platform game about being awesome action heroes from the 80s and 90s while slaying satanic terrorists and aliens while unravelling an evil plot to destroy the planet while dealing with being awesome action heroes from the 80s and 90s."

Imagine Metal Slug with destructible terrains as in Worms, minimalist graphics, a very precise maniability and instinctive handling (one button to fire, one to fire a special weapon, one to use a close combat weapon, and press UP to jump).  Then add lots of explosions, and an insane amount of enemies who are sure to end up as meat pieces sprinkled all around.

And then add the characters. no, sorry, the Bros. Brominator. Rambro. Bro Norris. Mister Bro. Bro in Black. Bro Hard. McBrowen. Robrocop. Bro Dredd. Bro Plissken. Indiana Bro; all of whom are unlockable as you progress through the game.
It's still just a prototype, no sorry, a brototype, but it's fun as hell, addictive, and, in a strange way, very soothing.  If you like it, don't forget support them in the Steam greenlight.

4½ nothing soothes me more than blowing shit up out of 5.

WHERE TO GET IT:
You can play online HERE or download a standalone build HERE (Direct DL).

Nutted by Docrate1 (He's a Bro: First Class).

Magic: The Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers (2013)

Genre: Strategy  |  Players: 1 - 4  |  Developer: Stainless Games

If you’re considering buying DotP then you probably already have a fair idea of what MTG is. That’s good, because I don’t have the space to explain fully.

In brief, it’s a Collectible Card Game (CCG) in which you play as a Wizard (beard is optional) who uses spells and summons in the form of cards to fight an opposing wizard (or multiple fake wizards). You each begin with 20 HP, and have to chop your opponent’s level to 0 before the same happens to you.

The game will explain the rules, but may also make head will spin. The core rules and general strategies required of you are straightforward enough, but the modifiers and exclusions make things overly-complicated.

Once you've grasped most of what you need to know, you can take it to the field and engage an opponent. The first battle is hard! Your deck is piss-poor, so you’ll have to struggle, strategise and pray to any God of luck that may be listening to help you triumph. Kick ass and you’ll be able to tackle the next opponent.

Each successive opponent is designed to teach you something about the intricacies of gameplay. Some are hateful. If I ever come up against a real life player that uses the kind of cheap win tactics on display here, I’ll be tempted to take the fight across the table and shove the deck up his/her ass – sideways. If you’re going to play a game, play it fair.

You’ll eventually be required to use all you've learned in the tutorial phase to combat a less predictable opponent; they’re essentially Boss Battles that force you to call upon all your resources. You’ll get hammered a lot until you can unlock some better cards for your chosen deck; or even a better deck. There are lots of unlockable cards across all decks to encourage repeated playthroughs.

There's no excuse for the length of time it takes an A.I. opponent to make his/her/it’s move. It even goes through the combat phase when there’s NO CREATURES TO FIGHT WITH! The waiting has no practical purpose, it’s simply bad design. As is the absence of fully customizable decks; you have to use what you’re given in each of the five basic deck colours. You can modify them to a certain degree, but it’s limiting and frustrating to long-time players.

MTG: DotP should've been great, but translating a CCG to a PC/Console experience sucked much the fun out of it. It’s largely due to the absence of real people and real interactions. Meeting with friends, rigging a makeshift table from a milk crate and some plywood, getting rat-ass drunk and making Goblin jokes is what makes MTG so much fun; that experience just can’t be recreated online.

Buyer's Guide:
Not available on disc. It's a download only title.

2½ unfair advantages out of 5

Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon (2013)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 - 4 (local and online multi)

Developer: Next Level Games

How do you follow up Luigi's Mansion?  Throw in more mansions!
Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon (known outside America as Luigi's Mansion 2) is a pretty neat game starring everybody's favorite Player 2, Luigi.  It’s part of Nintendo's ‘Year of Luigi’ that currently consists of a grand total of one game; it seems like he’ll be a supporting cast member in the rest.  Yeah, totally seeing a lot of green this year Nintendo…

Since his last adventure Luigi has settled into his home, enjoying a nice sit down, when suddenly some asshole "Professor" pixelizes him and sends him to his laboratory.  There he tells Luigi that he NEEDS to retrieve six pieces of the Dark Moon, because it being broken is what’s causing ghosts to go berserk.  And so Luigi reluctantly re-enters the ghost hunting business.  Luigi is sent to his first mansion with nothing but a flashlight.  Gee, thanks, E. Gadd, for forgetting to grab the damn vacuum while you ran away from your home like a girl.

As you progress through the game the mansions seem to get shorter and shorter.  I felt like the first was very fleshed out, had pretty cool puzzle ideas and a very awesome boss fight, but after that it seems like something was missing, or the game was hurried for the schedule release.
You can add to your playtime if you spend time grabbing the emeralds from each mansion.  No, I think I know what you're thinking, you don't turn into Super Luigi.

The multiplayer is a great way to pass the time if you have a couple of buddies that want to go ghost hunting while you have the Ghostbusters theme blasting in the back.  ScareScraper (Thrill Towers as it's known in different parts of the world) can be unlocked as soon as you complete a couple of chapters from the first mansion.  In ScareScraper you can have up to 4 players at a time.  Various modes and difficulties can be set, including how many rooms you want to scale; or if you’re feeling a little ballsy, infinite rooms.  I played a couple of rooms with random players.  I found it fun but very time consuming.  Definitely play when you have extra time in your hands.

Controls are pretty cool; every button has a function and it doesn't feel overwhelming.
The 3D looks awesome.  If you've played Super Mario Land 3D then you’ll know that it was done correct.
Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon is all about the right lighting, which is excellent; from small shadows to a single candle it looks great.
Though not a perfect game it is a very good game for our green overall wearing friend.  I enjoyed my time as Player Two.  If you liked the first game, then I’d recommend giving this one a try too.

Buyers Guide:For the 3DS. It’s still pretty new at time of writing, and being a Nintendo game you’ll probably see it stay a steady $35-$40.

4 big fat vomiting ghosts out of 5

Nutted by ASH

Resident Evil 5: Gold Edition (2010)

Genre: Action, 3rd-Person Shooter | Players: 2 | Developer: Capcom

This is a rewrite/reassessment.

I had the chance to do so, because of changes to my personal blog. I took it.

I will acknowledge that Resident Evil 5 is not a survival-horror game. It is a buttery-smooth 3rd-person shooter set in Africa. When you’re in Spain, you kill zombie Spaniards. When you’re in Africa, you kill zombie Africans. The setting was dictated by the machinations of the villainous organizations in play, not the heroes. Further, a handful of the heroes present in this narrative are Africans! They are wonderfully written, they are selfless, and frankly, they are entirely badass.

In one regard, this is akin to a buddy-cop movie: it has knowing dialogue centered around the concept of partners, and the word ‘partner’ itself. However, I’ve come to realize that that’s simply a facade. It’s draped over the top of outstandingly resonant relationships. I genuinely feel the emotion that is brought to bear, and that exists between Chris and the ladies he fights alongside. He’s also a beautifully cynical bastard. Be sure to dilly-dally in the first area until you’ve heard the full extent of his dialogue. This is all counter-weighted by my favorite villain, who tries desperately to steal the show, once he finally takes the stage. Admittedly, you do have to read data files, as they unlock, to see the entire tableau. But, you know what? I’m not holding that against the game, anymore. Read. It’s good for you.

The biggest added feature is of course the co-op. Playing with strangers comes with all of the usual pitfalls inherent to online interactions. I did have a blast playing with my friends, though! Relatedly, the biggest problem CAN BE Sheva’s AI. It’s possible that she might use healing items as soon as she grabs them. It’s also possible that she may run wildly into walls. HOWEVER, I personally believe that this may be due to the meshing of vanilla RE5 data with RE5 Gold data. I have gotten consistent, stellar results with fresh Gold files, on fresh PS3 profiles. My last few runs have seen her mixing and saving healing items, and changing weapons appropriately. I.e., she can be exquisite. It is 100% possible.

A smaller change from RE4 is that the menu is no longer out-of-time. Bringing it up does not pause the game. It’s nine slots, and the four present on the cardinal directions act as hot-keys, which allow quick-switching between whatever you place in them, via the d-pad. Of course you’ll end up doing some active management in the field, by dropping items and passing them between yourself and Sheva, but you are given the opportunity to organize your base load-out, in-between levels. This is also where the shop exists, for good and ill. You are missed, Merchant, but I appreciate the small homage that is present, here. I assume it’s an homage, at any rate…

A huge step-up from 4 is the fact that any of the weapons can be equipped with infinite ammo. For the vast majority of them, it’s as simple as purchasing the perk with the bonus points you receive for completing each level. There’s even a specific level designed for grinding those points out. There’s also one for making money! Your arsenal thankfully carries through into Professional Mode, as that will gladly end you in one or two hits.

Having to turn said infinite ammo on in two different menus is a bit annoying, I’ll concede. If you want to use cheats for online play, the person hosting will have to be using a completed file with cheats enabled. No infinite ammo for you, if you’re helping a friend clear the game for the first time~

The Gold edition of the game, and the PS4 and Xbox One ports, add in all of the dlc released. This includes additional figures (akin to the bottlecaps in 4) and characters for the various iterations of the Mercenaries mini-game. The most relevant additions, however, are the two extra scenarios. I think these are both glorious. They each emphasize a central tenant of the series. Desperate Escape is all action, all the time. Control of two very notable NPCs is given over to you (and maybe a friend) and it's mostly a showcase of how much fun the combat engine truly is. Lost in Nightmares delivers on the promise of the first game. You get to explore a recreation of the mansion, without the ruinous combination of fixed camera-angles and tank controls. Though, the camera can become fixed, via an easter egg, if you REALLY want that. It’s both Chris and Jill TOGETHER. I personally believe that its existence completely precludes the need to play the first game. The entire scope of Chris’s journey exists on a single disc!

That is of course assuming that you aren’t looking to purchase the 360 version… All of the dlc content there is provided via a download code, because it wouldn’t fit on one of their discs, alongside the game. If you want everything, in perpetuity, you really do need it on PS3, PS4, or Xbox One. There is a bit of graphical white-out on the PS3 when enemies use flash-grenades, but I’ve decided that that’s not a problem, either. It’s never gotten me hurt, and (I assume) it accurately conveys what it would be like to be in the proximity of one when it goes off. Your ears ring, and everything! Nope, I’m not taking off points for that, any longer. Deal.

I adore this game. Period.

Original score, accounting for the AI and white-out:
3½ ‘Ikuze, aibou’s out of 5

Final score, incorporating everything I’ve learned and decided:
4½ Guttural Screams out of 5

Silent Hill Homecoming (2008)

Genre: Survival Horror | Players: 1 | Developer: Double Helix Games

Silent Hill, whoever came up with the name is ok in my book; the title always sends chills down my ass crack. Homecoming was not developed by Team Silent but by Double Helix, and I think they did a pretty good job with handling the game. It certainly had the Silent Hill feel to it but at the same time it didn't.

The game stars Alex Sheperd, a soldier, coming back to his lovely home in Shepherd's Glen. We hereby crown Alex the first protagonist with combat experience, but how hard is it to swing a steel pipe or shoot a gun, right?

Upon arriving things aren't really what they seem to be. It’s pretty much deserted. He discovers that his younger brother, Josh, has gone missing. So we now have something to look for!  Oh, and other people in the village have gone missing but who cares, Josh is what Alex is really after.

The puzzles are very simplistic at first but get a bit tedious later on when you pretty much have to put the right item in the right spot, and in the right location.
Pyramid Head, or Boogeyman as he is called in this game, makes an appearance, looking a lot like how he looked in the Silent Hill movie. Silent Hill Homecoming takes more from the movie as far as look, and it isn't necessarily a bad thing in my opinion. I thought the change to the dark or rust world animation was pretty cool.

The controls in this game are far better (but not the best) than in previous instalments. I have been known to accidentally use first aids because I was trying to back out of the menu.
Changing weapons can be done quickly by pressing right or left on the D-pad; it helps a lot when you have a couple of enemies in sight that you need to clear out.

Homecoming is neither the best nor the worst in the series for me, but everything works. If you are picky with "lore" this might not be the game you are looking for.

Hey, this is Neg popping in to relate the game-breaking glitch, if for some reason you aren't already aware of it. Join me below the cut, so you can avoid it entirely.

Buyer's Guide:
You can find the PS3 and Xbox 360 versions for about $15-$20, maybe even less. PC is going to cost you a bit more, ranging in the $20-$40 mark but if you have a Steam account you'll probably see it on sale for dirt cheap. Oh my friend, you sweet summer child. You had no idea what the world (and corporate entities) would do. When you're done laughing, reader, click here.

3½ warm welcomes out of 5

Nutted by ASH